Kommentariat Comments of the Week: September 24-30, 2014

10.01.14 3 years ago 40 Comments
Certificate Of Merit Sept 30


If it seems like there are a lot of KOTWs in this week’s Comments of the Week (motto: we really need to get a style guide around here to tell us when to use K or C when coming up with new phrases) it’s because there are a lot of Comments of the Week in this week’s KOTW. Even the open threads and live blogs were exceptionally fun this week as the Kommentariat really came into its own as we hit the quarter mark of the regular season.

One would like to think that this improvement in humor was because we’ve all become that much better at our jobs. We were better writers, you were better readers. Of course that thought would be wrong and the truth of it is that The Shield managed to fuck up less then usual for the 2014 season and well, the relief was palpable. Easier to joke when the sword of Damocles was not hanging over our heads with each incoming story.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for September 30, 2014. Hey look, some happy Royals baseball fans:

The NFL Found a Way To Offend Muslims Too

I love it when you call me Bob Poppa

This is why Condoleezza Rice would make a great commissioner. There is no way she would approve an unsubstantiated attack on a Husain.

Moonbatting Average

Oh he’s been flagged, for sure

– The NSA

The Inevitable Happens: Dennis Allen Fired

Mike Wallace and Gromit

Not exactly shocking that the Raiders phoned it in.

Make It Snow

Raiders management considered firing Allen in London, right after the game, but it seemed like a mean time.

Kyle Orton Rides Again, Is Now The Starter In Buffalo

Chazz Goodtimes

If you want to add to your drive to day-drink, click on the neckbeard tag above. 2008. HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LIVES.


The NFL is not very good in the domestic violence space but as a league they’ve got the recycling space down cold.

KSK Exclusive: Bill Simmons Sends Us His Column

Old School Zero

Wait a second. Where are the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, twentieth, twenty-first, twenty-second, twenty-third, twenty-fourth, twenty-fifth, twenty-six, twenty-seventh, twenty-eighth, twenty-ninth, thirtieth, thirty-first, thirty-second, thirty-third, thirty-fourth, thirty-fifth, thirty-sixth, thirty-seventh, thirty-eighth, and thirty-ninth pages of this column?

BREAKING: ESPN Investigates Ongoing Matt Stafford Bridge Collapse Situation

Murder Penguin

I assume the bridge collapsed because Stafford stared it down the whole time and led it into coverage with the truck.

Eli’s Letters From Camp: Dear Mr. Jeter, I’m your biggest fan.

Hobo Spices

“Sent from my Leapfrog”

The Kirk Cousins Insurrection Is Over

Uncle Phil

It hope the Redskins are about to enter Wayne Fontes territory. The back-up QB is always better. When you name a new starter, the previous starter is now the back-up. Wait one game. Repeat.

TNF Second Half (God, what a hellish INT-filled game. -ss)

Doktor Zymm

It’s like a sitcom. After a couple of commercials everything is back the way it was.

ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons Three Weeks For Calling Roger Goodell A Liar


If Simmons’ should have learned one thing from the last month, it’s that nothing is punishable unless it’s on tape.

Uncle Phil

When they came for Playmakers, I said nothing because I worked the nights it was on TV.
When they came for the Frontline concussion piece, I said nothing because I’m not smart enough to understand PBS.
When the came for the Simmons, I said…well, still nothing because he’s kind of a tool.

Darnell Dockett Rewards the “Real MVP” of the Cards-Niners Fan Fight


As an Arizonan….

Ugh, now I’ve lost all credibility.

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