Welcome back to the KSK Kommentariat Comments of the Week. Sorry for the week off in there, but long story short; I was without a computer last week and unfortunately left the rest of the team shorthanded, thus everyone had to devote all of their energies to actual football coverage. Rest assured, we all read your comments and they were quite amusing.
As for this week, special love goes out to everyone in the This Week in F–K You: Depression thread. Truly love. And a special thanks to Bostjan Snachbar for his very special Cowboys poem. I could stay up all night reading Keats, drinking and what have you and still not come up with a poem as inspired as his.
Without further ado, I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for August 3-13, 2014. We’re less than a month away from football now.
If there isn’t another piece on the Sex Cannon running around with Johnny Football, I’m going to be upset. More upset than Michele Bachmann getting it over a stair railing from Rexy.
The next chapter in KSK Masterpiece Theater.
/Bra flies open
Old School Zero
Jesus, get over it, Denver.
The Jersey Devil
A haiku for Peter King . . .
Fuck you Peter King.
Beer and coffee do not mix.
Eat a bag of dicks.
*crowd finger snaps*
I love it when you call me Bob Poppa
Student: I can’t wait to tackle this curriculum!
Deion: We don’t tackle.
English Class — Third Person is the Only Person
THIS COWBOYS TEAM, I CALL IT DJANGO BECAUSE THE “D” IS SILENT.
Don’t be an ass. Just say the team name: Washington Drunken Casino Dwellers.
Quiz: If someone shouts “CANNONBALL” at a Jaguars home game, it means that
A. He is jumping into the pool
B. He is nostalgic for the days of MJD
C. There is a vigorous debate over what to do with the team
D. The South has risen
E. Really like The Breeders
F. Is smoking weed/drinking out of jug with Carl the Groundskeeper
G. Tebow was tired of being ignored bought a cannon and snapped
H. A remake of The Cannonball Run is being filmed and they wanted to test the theme song.
I literally spat on the ground just reading Lin Elliott’s name.
And now this Starbucks manager is getting all pissy about it.
THREE MISSED FIELD GOALS! I’LL SPIT WHERE I WANT!