Kommentariat Komments of the Week: July 23-29, 2014

07.30.14 3 years ago 49 Comments
Certificate Of Merit July 29


Welcome to the KSK Kommentariat, where you can smell the season coming.

It was refreshing to see some honest football debate about which teams the Kommentariat felt were left off the KSK Scale of Sadness. Lions, Bengals, Dolphins and Cards fans united in saying, “God we suck. Please remember us in your prayers this season.” Add in this week’s epic draft of our worst football moments and it’s almost like we can pretend football is here.

Winner for the Best Comedy Pyramid of the Week? Andre Reed Called Johnny Manziel ‘Johnny Rookie Bitch’. Kudos to everyone who swam in the deep end of the pool on that one.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for July 23-29, 2014. We’re almost there.

YEEE-HAAAAA! The Oakland Raiders could move to San Antonio, Texas


I know I speak for the rest of Texas when I say “I can’t wait for Texas to get a second franchise”

How the Ravens can look even worse handling the Ray Rice suspension

I love it when you call me Bob Poppa

“I’m not sure anyone wants to see me. I’m so sorry, and I’m embarrassed. And, I don’t want to make any of the women feel uncomfortable.”

This is actually the headline on my Match.com profile

KLEARINGHOUSE: Goodell Underling Sent Out to Defend Ray Rice Punishment

Mike Wallace and Gromit

Irsay’s reached the point where’s he’s just handing out money hoping one or more fans are actually drug dealers and will hand him back a baggy of pills.

Otto Man

So Kristin Cavalleri got her period back after childbirth? Big deal.

(Reply) William Charles Schneider

Better spray the Resolve on that red mark before Jay gets jealous, and sprays it to re-mark “his” territory.

Now Jerry Jones Is Saying He Was Just About To Draft Johnny Manziel

Kam Fong as Chin Ho

This is a lose lose statement from Jerrah.

If Manziel is a star then Jerrah is stupid for not taking him.

If Manziel is a bust then Jerrah is stupid for even considering him that high.


Lose-Lose, or as the Cowboys call it: any two weeks of December.

(Reply) Arch Duke Ferdinand

@ synapticmisfires
And most Novembers

NFL Responds to NYT Editorial Supporting Marijuana Legalization

Old School Zero

“P.S. Please enjoy Cialis and many other fine chemicals from NFL partner Eli Lily. Go to NFL dot com slash playinghurt60 for a free sample of the lineman cocktail that will get you back on the field, and start your lifelong enjoyment of prescribed medications that we’re sure have no side effects whatsoever.”

Vikings Mike Priefer Apologizes For Remarks, Bringing Shame to the Vikings

Moose (The Thread Ender)

Did Ray Rice punch this guy?

The All-Hair Metal Arena Football League


The London Europes.

You can have that one for free, Roger.

Ray Rice Suspended For Two Games For Assault

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t worry Kommnetariat, I got this.

/Drafts Rice with first fantasy pick
//watches Rice shatter both knees tripping over a Gatorade bottle on his way out for the first possession

Excellent; it’s all falling into place.

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