Before we get to this week’s finest komments, I have to share something with you. Kate Upton was in my backyard the other day. If we can skip the euphemism jokes for a second here, I’ll explain. I was driving into my parkade (or “parking garage” as you people call it) and I pointed past my wife and said “That’s Kate Upton”. It made the short remainder of the ride kind of awkward. Everyone knows what goes on in your mind when you see Kate Upton in the physical realm. You can’t even be all “She’s not that pretty in real life,” or “I’m not really into blondes,” or “What a fatty fat fat fat,” because everyone, especially your wife, knows you’re lying. We got into the house, and I could hear her out my patio window talking to the director of the movie she was shooting in my alley, and I decided I needed to take the garbage out right that minute and without being asked… because I am red blooded and weak. The only thing Mrs. Risk said through the entire ordeal (referred to henceforth as “The Water-Kate Scandal”) was “I’ll bet the kommentariat is going to want to hear about this.”
Stopping a flood in Holland.
make it snow
The proposed regular season game in Germany will be played using Pro Bowl rules because Germans are still uncomfortable with the blitz.
I love it when you call me Bob Poppa
What’s with all the Frank Reich jerseys?
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Peyton Manning has a tattoo on his neck that reads “01000010 01110101 01101001 01100011 01101011″
make it snow
The extra point change I’m most excited about is the addition of the one-point defensive safety, which will fill the gap between the standard two-point safety and Chris Conte, the pointless safety
This post is what MMQB would look like if PK had an editor.
The I Do Haiku:
My daughter’s wedding
Can’t remember much of it
Too much Allagash
The Hefty Lefty
The Abominable Throwman
The Round Mound of Touchdown
He Ate Me
Monty this seems strange to me
7teven A. 7mith preparing his taek right now.