Kommentariat Komments of the Week: March 19-25, 2014

03.26.14 4 years ago 97 Comments

Certificate of Merit March 25

It was another grand week for the KSK Kommentariat as Michael Vick became a Jet, we said goodbye to Nacho in New York, Dan Snyder was Dan Snyder, the league proposed a few new rules, while day drinking and unrelated brackets took over the rest of the sports world.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your spring-fresh comments for the week ending March 25, 2014.

(Mr. Horatio Cornblower, Mr. Porkythefirst, Mr. Sill Bimmons and M. Skim172, I’m going to need to see you after class about the ludicrous STAR WARS prequals discussion you had in the Drew Brees/NOAH costume post. Your conclusions about AOTC are all wrong and if some part of your mind wasn’t blown by the idea that Yoda was responsible for bringing a clone army under the Federation control paired with the actual visual of Yoda commanding troops for the first time, well. We’re going to have to workshop this some more. I have ALLLLLLL OFFSEASON to make my point.)

R.I.P. Ralph Wilson


See, Dan Snyder, THAT’S how you should own an NFL team. By which I mean, just die already.

KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: What Of Rex’s Nacho Tattoo?


“I love your plates.”

– Dan Gilbert, upon meeting with the Oneida Nation.

GRUDEN TALK: The Best Gruden Talk Guest Yet


Looks like the Wheel…


…won’t be ’round as much.

Bill Belichick Wanted Us To Photoshop Him Into The Coaches Photo So We Did


So the league and it’s media minions can threaten Marshawn Lynch with fines for not wanting to attend media sessions and answer the same lame ass questions over and over and use thinly veiled racist verbiage to describe this “uppity” person, but one of the signature coaches in the league blows off a picture of it’s coaches and ha ha nothing to see here. just wondering if anyone will point this out to assholes King, Florio and any other sexually frigid reporter or am I just being jelly?

Dan Snyder Bought Some Coats And A Backhoe So You Can’t Object To The Redskins Name Anymore

Knight Dehumidifier

I think all the PR stunts Dan Snyder has been doing lately to appease the Native Americans is a little corny. No, wait. It’s a little maizey. My apologies.

Drew Brees Is Bringing Movie Cosplay To A Biblical Level

I love it when you call me Bob Poppa

You can never have too much Axe on you.

Bucs Disappointed In Mike Williams For Irresponsibly Allowing Himself To Be Stabbed

Horatio Cornblower

Au contraire, a Schiano Man rarely stabs first. He falls hopelessly behind until the very end and then, when his opponent lets up to avoid completely and utterly humiliating the Schaino Man, by god it’s stabbing time!

New York Jets Sign Michael Vick, Cut Mark Sanchez. Have a good weekend Jets fans!


Hey, Jets fans, he’s NACHO quarterback no more!

Otto Man

Rex Ryan and Mike Vick in the same locker room?

God help the player with sore feet who complains that his dogs are killing him.

Seahawks Look to Jared Allen to Help Rebuild a Struggling Defense


Why does Pete Carroll look so happy? He went to Jared.

/stabs self in the duodenum

NFL Team New Rule Proposals


Eli’s favorite Ninja Turtle is Raphael because he is sick of people talking about Leonardo’s leadership skills.

And in the prophetic category:

Electric Mayhem

Bills propose…nevermind, we’ll just sit here quietly until Ralph “The CryptKeeper” Wilson finally shuffles off this mortal coil.

(reply) In Da Buff
Bills propose that there is never a need for succession plan to be in place in case of owner’s death – team will stay in whatever city it is currently in and automatically receive playoff spot to console grieving fanbase.

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