Hey, so… You’re pretty hot and I don’t hate you. We should maybe get married. Or not. See if I care.
[Kristin Cavallari, Jay Cutler Engaged: PEOPLE]
she’s steppin out on you, bro
I imagine that they will have two separate beds in their bedroom, like in the old movies when the Hayes Code was still around.
Cutler is actually looking forward to the eventual divorce, because it’ll give him a bunch of material for his debut EP, A Bear is Raging Inside of Me.
Nothing says love like a stroll down the street with your arms folded and a yard of empty space between you.
Seriously, Amish couples show more public affection than these two.
I was going to think up a witty remark and a dick joke, but really what does it matter?
So excited he jumped for joy. Literally, jumped around screaming “We’re getting married and my leg feels great.” He then picked her up to demonstrate how he would carry her across the threshold and how he had no problem putting weight on his leg.
She has that “psycho-cunt-from-hell” look of every bad relationship I’ve ever had. She is going to shred him, destroy his life, than suck the life force out of him. I bet the “engagement” wasn’t his choice. Looks like she’s already got his nuts in a vice.
Also, sweet puffy vest, bro. Totally doesn’t make you look like a megadouche.
Babe, I kinda love you, and when I piss you off I’m pretty sure you won’t trade me for Kyle Orton and a draft pick. Will you marry me?
he is going to shred him, destroy his life, than suck the life force out of him.
Nah, she can’t do to him what he’s already done to himself.
Check mate. Or not. Whatever.
I heard Todd Collins was going to be the best man but was so inept Cutler had to give it to Caleb Hanie
The wedding night will take an awkward turn when Kristin learns that Jay prefers to watch from the sidelines while Caleb Hanie takes care of business.
How does she even handle J-Cut’s swag? That guy is straight pimp.
Here’s a gift for the lucky couple!
He hopes they can be as happy as Brandon and MIchi. Those two have a real future.
It’s a match made in suck.
She kind of looks like a Cutlerfucker
This is currently in Kristin Cavallari’s wikipedia page:
Cavallari is currently engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, although she keeps Caleb Hanie around to finish.
Expect a run on Bears #6 jerseys with “Cavallari” on the back, as Jay will likely change his name.
Cutler: So what do you think Greg? Is she OK for the wife swap?
Olsen: As long as I don’t have to talk to her.
“So, I booked a Joy Division tribute band to play at the wedding…is that cool with you? Whatever…”
She looks like a lesbian
The ring was intercepted by DeAngelo Hall, but Cutler would do it again the exact same way, no question.
Lies… everyone knows marriage is the leading cause of divorce… So Kristin, when the inevitable happens, gimme a call, I’ll think about letting you have sex with me.
DHall hit it four times before Cutler did
FPK- What does a lesbian look like? I’ve seen a lot of their movies (training, of course), and I can’t remember a common phsical attribute…
We need a photoshop of cutler on one knee from the giants game last year, proposing.
Fine, she does not look like a lesbian buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut she does look like someone who hands out with the women’s rugby team
Awesome news Jay, just take my advice and leave cutlery off the bridal registry.
I’ve seen that look before. It’s the ” you are oh so not getting some tonight look”, also known as the ” she looks like she just sucked on a Lemon” face. He must’ve done something to piss her off.
Like breathing or talking to her.
Someone’s overcompensating. I mean just look at the size of that shoulder bag! No way she needs that much room to carry the jar that contains Cutler’s testicles. Whatever.
What? No reaction to the announcement of Cutlerfucker’s impending nuptials from God’s favorite QB and his third favorite son (after Jesus and Chuck Norris), King Philip I the Lazerfaced?
awww, they look so blasé together.
I wouldn’t count her as off the market folks. You know he’ll try to blame all his interceptions on her and she’ll walk out after three or four (which should come by the end of the first half)
Kristin will be so pissed that the Bears O-Line provided security for their wedding after they let everyone in town break through and crash it.
Why do all women named some form of “Kristin” all have that same snotty sorority sister look?
I think it’s just because of the name. It sounds so brittle, like the overcooked remnants of fried chicken that sit in the fryer all day. In fact, I think that’s what we should call them. Kristins.
They look like the douchey power-couple in a John Hughes flick. I’m starting to think Jay Cutler is the James Spader of the NFL.
I give this marriage a real shot, unless one of them has a knee injury.
“I vow to never give up on you, like I did to the Bears.”
I can’t wait for their VH1 reality show, though it may leave KSK posts on Cutler and @NotJayCutler redundant and obsolete.
do you think they’ll have an offensive line as part of their wedding registry?
There shoould be thought balloons for the pic:
He:WTF happened to the blowjobs?
What a rugged manly jaw-line …Oh and Jay has a nice face too.
I give it about six weeks, until she accidentally uses his insulin pump as a vibrator…
You can just see that they reek of love. Yep, got that love reek going.
Spatula, I heard that Nazareth’s “Love Reeks” is going to be featured in the ceremony…wait.
This picture was taken after Cutler asked her about her lack of boobage and whether or not she was getting a tit job or whatever. She’s walking away with the “I’m insecure about my lack of tits, am totally pissed with you, and will stay that way until you give me the credit card for retail therapy” look.