Tard helmet, now in team colors.
It’s that time of year again, when we’re so devoid of content that, rather than spending time covering Romo dumping Jessica Simpson the night before her birthday, we run through our predictably inaccurate prognostications for the upcoming year, division by division. Up first, it’s the AFC South, where you’re either winning, you’re mourning Steve McNair or you’re getting busy freebasing.
Five Fast Facts About the Texans:
Vegas Over/Under For 2009: 8 Wins
Despite every year, by virtue of a promising finish, duping suckers (like me) into thinking they can eclipse their 8-8 record from the year before (and the year before that), the Texans inevitably stumble out of the gate, eliminate themselves midway through the season, then pad out their record over soft teams at the end of the year. I’VE FINALLY WISED UP COCKSLOTS!
/Texans go 12-4 just to spite me
LAND OF SHIT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
Five Fast Facts About the Colts:
Vegas Over/Under For 2009: 10 wins
Conventional wisdom will tell you that Peyton alone could coach this team to 10 wins, and he’s going to have to because Jim Caldwell doesn’t look like he could inspire shit out of a goose.
She really should’ve had a bigger part in the Star Wars prequels.
Five Fast Facts About the Jaguars:
Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 8 wins
The Jags caught the brunt of a spate of injuries early last year (if you ask me, it was also karmic retribution for tossing huge contracts at Jerry Porter and Troy Williamson) and so long as they can avoid that, they should cobble together an improved result over last year’s disaster. I don’t think it would be a huge shock to see this team rebound to 9-7, but then I’m almost always fantastically wrong.
Five Fast Facts About the Titans:
Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 9 wins
According to most, the departure of Albert Haynesworth augurs a nosedive for the Titans, but I don’t forsee that dramatic of a falloff. Unless Vince Young takes non garbage time snaps at QB, then, fuck it, they’re the new Lions.