Are you ready for some football? Hoo boy, I know I am. Hi, I’m Toronto mayor Rob Ford and I really
love me some good, old fashioned American football. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Why are they
letting you make a Super Bowl prediction? Shouldn’t you be picking the Grey Cup winner instead?”
Truth is: I actually prefer the American game to what we play up here in Canada. Just don’t tell those
hosers I said that, OK? I’d never hear the end of it. We take national pride seriously up here,
even though our brand of football happens to be inferiour.
Well, enough of that. Let’s focus on the game, eh? Me, I’m giddier than a schoolboy on the day
after Christmas (sorry, that’s what’s known as Boxing Day up here in the Great White North). For
you see, this Super Bowl will feature teams from my absolute two favourite American states.
Take Colorado, for example. Beautiful territoury. I visited Keystone the late 80’s on trip with
university chums of mine. We skied the slopes by day, and come nightfall we’d load up our condo’s
refrigeratour with cases of American lager, seeing how many we could finish before mourning. And
now, you can do all that PLUS get so stoned you start seeing Loverboy’s music. AND IT’S ALL LEGAL.
Throw in more hipsters, and Washington’s the same. But I can’t ride a bike, so I don’t visit as often.