KSK Kommenter Draft: Chopped Mystery Basket

05.17.13 5 years ago 97 Comments

Welcome back for another round of fierce kommenter drafting. This week we’re going to be picking our own mystery baskets for an episode of Chopped. For those unfamiliar with the show, there are three rounds, each with its own mystery basket. Each basket contains four ingredients that the chefs must use in dish that is then judged on taste, presentation and creativity. You know what? Just read Drew’s parody from last year. Then go buy his book.

You will be picking basket ingredients that other chefs will prepare for your amusement. Specify whether the basket is for the appetizer, entree or dessert round. Oh, and feel free to say what you’d make with the basket when it’s complete.

The judges will be Marcus Samuelsson, Amanda Freitag, Scott Conant and Aarón Sánchez. So feel free to throw some chocolate in there just to see that face Aarón makes every time some pinche gringo melts it down into their sh*tty tomato sauce and calls it mole.

Pick one ingredient, then wait five picks before going again. You’re done once you have all four ingredients. Then just sit back and imagine some chef turning it into a crostini, a hash or a bread pudding. REAL ORIGINAL, GUYS.

With the first pick in my entree basket, I’ll take snakehead fish.

Everyone in the Chesapeake Bay area was all worried when these scary (and delicious) bastards showed up from Japan because they’re an invasive species that eat everything. What they didn’t count on was the air-breathing fish taking so quickly to the American way of life. Recent studies have shown that the fish haven’t wreaked havoc because they are too lazy to eat anything that doesn’t swim right past their mouth USA! USA! USA!

If nothing else it will be fun watching some asshole vegan caterer try to wrestle with this monster.

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