They have the plant but we have the power. The NFLPA is handing out money from the lockout fund, so if you’re an NFL player step right up and collect your $60,000 stipend. If you’re one of the league’s higher paid players you can use the money on something cool like a hover-recliner, or a another pet otter (you have at least one already, right?). Or you could be like Demarcus Ware and return the totally unnecessary cash so that it can be redistributed to guys on the practice squad. Man, the Tea Party is going to be super mad about this.
Kenny Britt is a criminal mastermind. The Titans receiver was arrested and is now facing multiple criminal charges for attempting to fake out a cop in Bayone, New Jersey. Britt was spotted speeding in his Porche, but he managed to elude the officer long enough to park the car, walk away, and pretend as if he hadn’t been the one driving it. Somehow that didn’t work. When reached for comment Jeff Fisher said, “I’m not his coach anymore, please leave me alone.” Such a kidder.
Fried chicken shakeup. The rumors are true, Popeye’s is no longer the official fried chicken of the Washington Redskins. Stop freaking out, it’s going to be fine. There will be chicken next season! KFC has signed on to become the new official fried chicken of the Washington Redskins, which is kind of like replacing Donovan McNabb with a less delicious quarterback who is always trying to sell you a Beefy Crunch Burrito like it’s some kind of side dish. So yeah, lots of interesting stuff going on.