As with most things that have become KSK off-season fixtures, the spelling bee live blog began as something we did once because we were bored and/or wasted, only for it to become an annual thing because it’s fun. And why not? It combines all of our favorite things: picking on social outcasts who don’t pose a threat of retaliation, mocking the virtues of education and laughing at children.
I still catch myself referring to the bee as the Scripps-Howard spelling bee, but it’s been just Scripps for a few years now. I assume Scripps killed Howard in a vicious but grammatically immaculate coup. I also miss the years when Erin Andrews did spot interviews with the contestants after being eliminated, so the boys could squirm and fight the urge to touch themselves on camera. That and of course, America turns its lonely eyes to Kyle Mou. COME BACK, MOU! He can’t be that old. And if he’s past the limit, raise the limit. Kyle Mou was a stone-cold assassin. No idea how he didn’t win that year.
Still, so much to enjoy:
– Awkward jokey banter with the pedo word giver
– Languages of origin. NEED MOAR KYRGYZ!!!!
– The dings! Oh heavens, the dings.
– Drawing invisible words on arms
– Furious first-generation immigrant parents barely concealing their intent to beat their children once they’re eliminated.
– None of that 6-year-old who everyone was talking about. She already got eliminated. Peter King says she’s too precocious for her own good.
– Probably someone from Ohio winning again, because Ohio is somehow terrible at everything academic but spelling.