KSK SUPER BOWL PICKSTRAVAGANZA Part 3: Who’s Actually The Dumbest? (we all are)

02.03.14 4 years ago 22 Comments


We’re all hung over.  Although it was incredibly enjoyable, last night’s Super Bowl was definitively a terrible football game.  It was the kind of game where, right after the first snap, football fans decided “Fuck it, let’s root for the Seahawks, and just drink whenever Manningface happens”.  And, our improvised drinking game completed, we settled in and made sure Denver wasn’t the only team getting blitzed that night.  Bad football makes for bad life decisions.  And it’s our job, here at Kissing Suzy Kolber, to ease your pain, the pain of an incredibly exciting season ending with a whimper and groan, the pain your dehydrated body feels as it stares into a coffee cup, wishing you could go back to those halcyon days of Panthers-Niners, or the Snow Bowl, or even just last night to prevent yourself from making blue-flavored Jello with everclear in it.

So in order to do so, we’re going to go back to our Super Bowl picks and find out definitively who made the dumbest one.

RobotsFightingDinosaurs: Broncos 27, Seahawks 24, in OT.  Pey-pey gets another ring, but everybody is most impressed with the humble, respectful way Russell Wilson acts after the loss.  (NOTE: This turned out to be the exact same pick Peter King made.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at myself the same way again.)

Off by: 38 points, the Broncos pick, and an OT prediction.  Pretty embarrassing, especially since I’m writing this post and could have cheated.

Christmas Ape: Seahawks 27, Broncos 17.

Off By: 25 points.

Sarah SpragueSeahawks 24, Broncos 20. Broncos 24, Seahawks 20.

Off By: 39 points.  31 if we go by my initial typo of her pick.

PFT Commenter: Welker 27, Seahawks 6.

Off by: 56 points.  Unfortunately, the GRITSTAH couldn’t lunchpail his way to victory here.

Tim Schavitz: Broncos 33, Seahawks 24. And please, please give Moreno the MVP if only for the flood of tears.

Off By: 44 points, and the Broncos pick.  And though they tried their best, the crew wasn’t able to catch a single Moreno tear on camera.

Eric Sollenberger: Broncos 24, Seahawks 20.

Off By: 39 points and the Broncos pick.

Old James: Seattle 31, Denver 24. And I’m sticking with Bruno Mars catching a wrench in the face.

Off By: 28 points, and no Bruno Mars wrenchings, unfortunately.

StuScottsBooyahs: Broncos 30, Seahawks 27

Off By: 38 points, and the Broncos pick.

Trevor Risk: Seahawks 27, Broncos 0

Off By: 24 points.

Big Sandy: Broncos 27, Pete Carroll Warriors 24

Off By: 38 points, and the Broncos pick.

So it looks like a pick I’m pretty sure was a joke at the time ended up being our most accurate prediction of the Super Bowl this year, and the least accurate pick belongs to PFT Commenter.  The more important note here is that not a single one of us came within 3 touchdowns of the real final score.  Good thing this is a humor site and not a straight-up football analysis website, or this would be embarrassing.

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