Life It Seems To Fade Away…

09.27.06 10 years ago 11 Comments

In case you weren’t already aware, Cowboys wideout Terrell Owens has apparently tried to kill himself. Is it fair to make fun of a man who may be in his darkest hour and in need of serious mental counseling?

I say yup.

TO has long been someone who desperately desires attention, negative or otherwise. So I think TO (who is not dead) would have wanted it this way, with people brutally flaying him with rapturous glee. That way, other people can step in and say, “Hey, he’s a person too, assbag!”, thus causing TO be viewed in a highly sympathetic light, leading up to Pontius Pilate’s swift execution order.

In other words, we at KSK plan on giving TO exactly what he wants. Stay tuned today for our numerous theories on why TO decided to try and half-assedly knock himself off. Seriously, has anyone died from attempting suicide by ingesting pills (cue random commenter who has a loved one that actually did)? TO didn’t want to die. He just wanted a $5 million advance for his memoirs. What a tactician.

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