Top image via Ape, the rest via Yahoo! Sports.
RE: Last one
Or a set of Spanx…
Ask for an undershirt, or liposuction.
For those of you wondering about #4:
Jesus, my eyes!
Why are Colts fans wearing Cardinal jerseys and asking for a win for the Cardinals? Did some of them escape from FatHump-opolis?
I’m surprised that she didn’t ask for pies.
Rex Ryan still weeps openly at the thought of all those footless Vancouver lasses.
All of a sudden, I’ve got the strangest, strongest craving for a big pile of toro.
I am fairly certain the last fan is rocking pajama jeans. Or as they are known in Indianapolis, business casual wear.
I’m pretty sure the Land Baron’s little “smelling salt” is fart flavored, you know because he is just so witty like that. Or it could be the remains of some “feminine product” stolen from Jenn Sterger’s bathroom
Jennifer Aniston’s let herself go.
I’m pretty sure I could beat her in a 40 yard dash.
Oh I get it, he’s, like, scarier because he’s black or something like that. Oh, wait, forgot; you guys aren’t from New England so you can’t possibly have a bigoted bone in your body. And you would have welcomed a black family into the suburb from whence you came, if they had the money to move in!
/is aware that the worst offenders always deflect their own insecurities onto others. Go Welkah!
@Needlenose: Lighten up, Francis.
The cards have a version of their uniform in black now? Man I am so sick of all these alternate uniform colors and styles. It sucks infected wet hippo dong. Sometimes I’ll flip on a highlight show and I am all like “What the fuck Germany has an American style football league now?” And then I will hear that it’s the Jets throwback alternate baseball style Jackie Robinson 1943 Child Rape Prison League road purples or some godawful shit like the Steelers aude to the Apollo Space Program Neil Armstrong 1968 Chef of the Future Breast Cancer Awareness Grey on Pinks.
shut up, meg
How does an Aizona Cardinals fan get that white? Too much time at the dimly lit buffet? If her arms were any whiter, they’d be translucent.
Seconded! Throwbacks are aight, I guess, especially the following: Old silver helmet Seahawks unis, old Pat Patriot unis, old white helmet Buffalo unis, orange crush Broncos unis, creamsicle Buccaneers.
But the following need to die: Whatever abortion the Packers were wearing earlier this year (brown helmets to simulate leather?), Circus-tent Broncos unis, neon-green Seahawks shame-inducers, and any black alternates. Black alternate jerseys are the teal and purple of today. It *already* looks horribly dated. I’m looking at you, Philadelphia.
On a side note, I went to the Seahawks-Panthers crap-o-thon a few weeks ago and was appalled at the number of Seahawks “fans” wearing those slime-green jerseys.
/end second rant.
Jack Youngblood’s broken leg laughs at your manicure.
#90 next to #26 isn’t any prize either boys. Maybe the economy is forcing Fat Humps to relocate from Slobinapolis.
in life: ignoring assholes when they’re acting like assholes is the reason assholes continue to act like assholes. you can see it in his face: “i’m a big black asshole, an’ imma stan’ up when i wants to!”. but people get all passive-aggressivey about stuff like this, think that if they just ignore it then it goes away and nobody gets mugged or whatever. but if you looked at an asshole’s life chronologically, you would notice several ‘points of divergence’ where an elbow to the temple or even a sturdy “sit the fuck down!” would maybe have straightened said asshole out.
but probably not, cause assholes are assholes for a reason?
/read the comments and understood it to be ‘rant day’
Yes, the Cards starting selling black jerseys at the beginning of the season.
It was clearly an omen.
A dependence on sniffing Skoal Bandits?
So wait, is NeedleNose saying it’s okay for people to not want black families in their neighborhood if no one else does? Doesn’t seem to imply that NeedleDick is a New Englander who doesn’t want black families in his neighborhood? And we can’t judge him and make jokes because NeedlePrick is only as racist as everyone else is? Does this mean that NeedleNipples assumes everyone on KSK is also white and lives in a suburb, just like him? Does this reflect the casual racism NeedleNazi grew up with in his Aryan New England background?
Because being a minority who’s lived in New England, man, those white folk are ray-cess.
BTW, I would totally appreciate having black families in my suburban neighborhood and in fact, have black families in my suburban neighborhood, and they all give a hearty “Fuck you and Happy New Year” to NeedleVagina up there.
/I mean that in the most professional way possible.
Nothing yet on the NFL fining ol Brittfar, yet Goddell ” fails to draw a conclusion ” ?
WTF over ?
In regards to alternate unis:
The only bad part about the Packers’ alts this year was the brown helmets, and the way the numbers were on the front of the jerseys. Otherwise, they really weren’t that bad. Not that anyone needs to worry about them. All the game worn ones were sold in the days after (and yes, the helmets were sold seperately, at the same price as the jersey (which is laughable when you’ve got crappy brown helmets going for over $1,000))
The way the article started out, I thought it was some kind of riddle. “There are ___ feet in a room. Which ones belong to whom?”
ask for death by chocolate
then death by spontaneous fatbustion
Hey Skim172, not from NE, and live in the city. So your entire premise crumbles. I am making fun of suburbanites who criticize NE for having some sort of inherent racism that the rest of the country doesn’t. And then it becomes a joke that is too easy to make, and then that joke is the pretense for assuaging their own sense of guilt. But nice job not getting even close to the meaning of what I wrote. Fucktard.
PS, most of the people on KSK are white. Without a doubt. And most from lily white suburbs. Eat it.
And skim, your being a minority proves dick. No racism in Mississippi or NYC or, god forbid, the great city of DC. Having travelled my entire life, I can honestly tell you to suck a big old bag of dicks.
RE: Last pic
PAN RIGHT GODDAMMIT, All problems will be solved if you point the camera a bit to the right
Needlenose is crusading for social justice on the comment sections of satirical sports blog.
Needlenose is the worst thing ever.
Skim says needlenose is a racist. No justice. I was just calling out all the lame racist jokes out here. Call it what you want, Gayactus. Just trying to make KSK work harder to be funny, as it’s become much too predictable this year. It will go the way of all great blogs soon, and be populated by humorless fucks like you.
Oh and check out kanye east above. Want to hang out with that dude? Not in my worst dateraping nightmares. Go ahead and justify.
umad brah ^^
Not at all. Love this site. Hate bullies though, and guys who justify there own weaknesses by making fun of others. There are many other great jokes out there to be had.
I’m forming a super-star fantasy football league consisting of NeedleNose, Monkey Business, Dancing Baptist, and any other douchebag commenter I can think of.
… What in the mother of fuck are you even talking about?
It’s not that we’re afraid of black men – we’re jealous of them fornicating with all of our hot blonde women.
/clears pornhub out of browser history.
Born n Mississippi
Lived n New England for 2 yrs
NE racism > MS racism the NE kind just isn’t as violent
Where’s the mandatory Tebow pic? On this isn’t ESPN. Nice.
Owah raycism is bettah than yowah raycism. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
I think the point of the first picture is that the dude is jacked as all hell, and regardless of color, probably isn’t happy happy joy joy and most likely irritable and would beat you for suggesting he sit.
I also think that point flew abotu 30,000 feet over the heads of some of the posters in the comment section.
I saw an interesting documentary on what you’re talking about called “Black Hungry Blondes”…truly eye-opening.
…starring NeedleNose’s mom obviously – HEY-O!!!
NeedleNose, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. It’s a joke about how that guy obviously gives not one fuck about anything, and you’re a dick for crying racism.
Dude in the first picture does look pssed, regardless of color.
I only wonder if Kanye East realizes how racist he is…….
Correct me if I am reading this situation wrong, but I believe dude in the first picture is contemplating the sweet sweet ass of #26.
That’s just wrong.