Oh hey, it’s an uneventful Wednesday in late March, so here’s an incredible video of a lamppost smashing through a bus windshield in China. Pretty remarkable that the driver survived. Would kind of like to know how this happened. If this happened in Russia, there’d be a dashcam on that bus. Anyway, I would have soiled myself 18 times if this happened to me. I’d have to drink more fluid just to have enough to keep soiling myself.
— Jason Campbell signed a two-year deal with the Browns. Not a bad move. Campbell is a halfway capable backup but no one is excited to have him, hence no extra pressure placed on Doopy Pantz.
— Te’o posted a somewhat better 40 time at his Pro Day, which will no doubt have Peter King trying to push Te’o back into the middle of the first round. Unsurprisingly, Te’o won’t attend the draft itself. I completely understand the decision but I still hate him for denying us the opportunity for mockery.
— Chiefs lineman Geoff Schwartz, one of nine Jewish players in the NFL, gave Hot Clicks 10 random facts about his football Jewiness. He doesn’t keep kosher, because pork chops and bacon are too integral for being a huge fat guy.
— Kordell Stewart is getting divorced from his wife amid further rumors about his sexuality. By assuming Kordell is gay, were yinzers 20 years ahead of the rest of the culture for the first time ever?
A steakhouse in the Detroit suburbs added a “Reggie Bush ribeye” to the menu, a picture of which Bush tweeted. If it’s anything like his NFL career, it’ll be really underwhelming for a while, to the point that you give up on it. But you’re still hungry, so you take another bite and it’s surprisingly good. Props if the restaurant can pull off that experience.
— New screenshots from the next Grand Theft Auto. Not football-related, but the game comes out right around the time the next season starts. Just more reason to drink and sleep my way to September.
— Ahmad Bradshaw to meet with the Steelers. Cue the “could be a great steal in the highly unlikely event that he stays healthy” hot sports takes.
— The Giants will have a new alternate uniform next season. Hot last week of March news!