Nation of Islam Sportsblog wants fantasy league berth, bean pie…

07.12.07 10 years ago 71 Comments

It’s a pretty quiet morning at KSK World Headquarters. Punter and Ufford are on gaycation, Ape and Jean Grey are enjoying a two-for-one flea dip, and the Maj is “too hungover to breathe.”

That provides ample excuse to present one of the finalists from our recent contest for the final spot in the KSK Keeper League. This fearsome salvo comes from the potentates of Blogfrica, the Nation of Islam Sportsblog. Maj loves these guys, but their rigid insistence can be a little, gulp, intimidating:

Sirs,

Your roster of already accepted entries into your “league” is quite a list of talent, insight and blogging presence.

It also reads as tho it were written with chlorox on white toilet paper.

We refuse to dance like an organ grinder’s monkey for you by submitting an “entry” for you to post on your site. The white man has used our talent for his personal gain and as a substitute for his lethargic and lazy nature for centuries. We resoundingly reject this attempt to have us provide the material for future posts to help buoy your sinking “blog”.

What we will do is this:

We demand acceptance into your league. We demand that you integrate your league with full representation of the microcosm of OUR nation.

We make these demands, respectfully. But forcefully. And they are levied with the full backing of Rainbow/PUSH, OUR nation and the United Negro College Fund.

Not including us would be akin to your willfully signing the death certificate of your “blog”. OUR support is limitless. OUR devotion is tireless. OUR righteousness is uncompromising.

Remember, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

This is YOUR opportunity to be environmentally friendly.

Submitted with militant exuberance and the minimum acceptable appropriate level of respect,

NOISb

Allahu Akhbar

We felt duly chagrined by NOISb’s admonition, but still went another direction for the winner. We couldn’t bear the thought of spending an entire season being lectured to by these guys. We’ll keep reading them though.

[Update: “Oh, you were finished?… Oh, well, then allow me to retort.”]

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