NFL Analyst Power Rankings (Official) #7- Chris Berman

05.17.13 5 years ago 37 Comments

I’m PFT Commenter and I’m counting down the 10 sharpest minds in the industry. Where will your favorite analyst or sports person land? (probably not high)

Ranked on: Infotainment value, being a pros pro and strength of takes

7. Chris Berman

Infotainment Value: 9

Boom switches from just a nother guy at the barstool crackin wise to giving it to you straight mode faster then anyone in the business. It would of been so great to watch Boom steer a really hilarious episode of Sunday sportscenter directly into announcing to America and the world that we killed bin Laden, but you know Obummer held onto the news just long enough so that Berman coudn’t break it by calling him “Osama Bin Shotten” and Americas never forgiven him for that.

And dont get me started with Radio city, watching him host the draft is like watching Jimmy Hendrix sing,, just a real treat. Hes basicly my biggest inspiration for giving nicknames out. These are all inspired by Boom: Maurice Loans Drew, Ray pRice, RG-ME, College Rapperneck(tattoos), CJ-2YPC, Adrian PEDerson, Ndamukong Smh and many others the mans a inspiration.

Being A Pros Pro: 9

Booms the emergency sober jack-of-all-traits they call in whenever someone else goofs and stays out all night and cant do there job. Hes been known to fill in on Football games, baseball, golf, the all star game, but honestly we’d all listen to him read the phone book because youd know he’d just have some fun with it and keep it light. I would rank him a 10 but Booms also not a guy you want your wife or female pet around the man has a stronger libido now then anyone else in the biz. The man has a passion for football which is clearly the second most important lace and leather in his life.

Strength of Takes: 1

But thats not even Boomers job. Booms job is to make a audience feel welcome and loosen up. Hes the double longisland ice tea you always make sure to feed a date in the car on the way to your first date. (No offense this works if your a guy or a girl I’ve never had a chick pull this stunt on me but if i did I’d be fine with it so its not sexist.)

Yep, Booms job is to set up Coach or TJ with a easy spike to slam the take home:

“Say Coach Ditka, how do you like this newfangle pistol read zone scheme that RG3 runs, great dreadlocks by the way, and a guy like Colin Kaepernick who I heard doesnt even like a nice bitter gingerbeer? Coach whats your take?” (Steam is literally coming out of Ditkas ears which are so far pinned back there behind his head as he snaps his cigar in half)

Thats Boom, without even saying it, he can get you to think to say what were all thinking.

Best Career Moment: Its tough to top his back to back-back-back ESPN rug race championships folks

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