If there is anything I love more than bad wordplay then I haven’t found it, and it’s probably illegal. So lets get right to business.
Russell Wilson has to be “Charm”ander?
/urge to give you all wedgies is rising
Someone wasn’t 10 years old in 1999…
…and yes, I will get off your lawn
Nope, I was 13 in 1999.
At that point I was more in to trying and failing to “get pussy.”
/the more things change
//the more they stay the same
I was 12, does that make me more awkward because I was trying to figure out what “finger banging” was while playing my gameboy?
/PEW PEW! GUNS!
//those were awful times
I’m even older, so….Pok-e-mon?
I was born when disco was still a thing, so you can all shut your whore mouths!
I was 20 in 1999……and I even played Pokemon with my little brother to help entertain him when I was home over the summer. And I still think these are all pretty lame, even if I generally like Rapocop’s oeuvre.
I was born when Pink Floyd was a psychedelic improv jam band, so this whole football pokemon mashup is seriously far out dude
I was 8 in 1999. That would normally me feel old, but my younger brother (who was 1 at the time) just asked me a question of clarification concerning historical materialism.
Rex Ryan is “Shoe”.
I believe Rex Ryan is strongly anti-shoe, unless they are sandals
I wonder how Rex feels about Vibrams? Does he view them how most guys view bikinis?
/toe shoe flies open
One of my roommates has a pair of those. We ruthlessly mock him every time he wears them.
I thought that was a gastrointestinal bacterial infection
Why are most of them Barack Obama?
“Gotta catch ’em all!”
— well, definitely not Davone Bess
100 times out of 100, Wes Welker catches ’em all.
You gotta catch em at the knees if you want to take your man down.
“Hi! I like shorts! They are comfy and easy to wear!”
-Eli Manning in an offseason interview.
Ray Rice isn’t a Pokemon, he’s Alabama Man,
Now with real Wife-Beat-Action™!
Ray Rice always tries to run away if a fight doesn’t go well, but he only makes 2 yards
Ben Roethlisberger owned the Wild Wacky Action Bike, even rode one without a helmet.
Ray Rice definitely showed off his Kung-Fu Grip™ coming out of that elevator…..
I personally would have done, Kam Chansey
The Ben “Slowbro” Roethlisberger
I change this one to Sandshrew Luck
Since you mentioned Lee Evans, Lee Evans sucks.
Hang on, I have to untie the 10 year old boy stuffed in my crawlspace to help me with this.
Be careful, don’t want him escaping now do we?
Shahid Kangaskhan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [prod.static.jaguars.clubs.nfl.com]
I just noticed this, but the tag “Gotta CTE em all!” is a hidden gem.
Shaun Suicune? Not really funny when the name perfectly blends :(
The only thing here that makes sense to me is that Brandon Weedle has no arms.
The Pokemon League has downplayed links between Pokemon that use the move “tackle” frequently and CTE.
One of you Kommenters more clever than me can certainly make a Ricky Williams/Pacman Jones + Snorlax + weed joke here.
He learns the power Self-Destruct in December.
Matt Schaubro (slowbro)
Mike Glennonat (Venonat)
What I’m really trying to say is that I only know the name of one Pokemon…
Philip Rivachu? (Raichu)
/YA BETTA SHOCK SOMEBODDDDDDYYYYYYY
“Gotta Catch’em All!”
Says who?- Davone Bess
Kiper looks like Stephen Colbert
Please do John Maddenkarp, pretty effing please!
I need to get a life
Screw it. HitmonChan Gailey
I don’t know anything about Pokemon because I’m old. But the new watermarks make me wish I had the Wite-Out concession in NFL Memes’ neighborhood.
Vernon Golduck (Vernon Gholston)
(yeah I went gen 6. I have friends)
Naturally, the trainer for NFL Pokemon is Michael Vick.