This is the Unsilent Majority rejoining you LIVE from the parking lot of
- Bruno: I saw Coach Saban pull into the stadium this morning when I was pissing in those bushes. He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!
- Butch: I once broke into his house to leave him a Valentine’s Day card and some edible panties. Coach Saban’s family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong. It was hanging there right on the wall.
- Gaylord: Did you know that If you drop a phonograph needle on Saban’s nipple, it plays the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds?
- Everyone: TO COACH SABAN!
They’ve continued to drink Appletini’s as they toast their hero, from the looks of it they could be here all night.