Ocho Cinco. “A Disgusting Act.” WHO YA GOT?

09.28.07 9 years ago 14 Comments

Though the matchup this Monday night hardly seems in doubt, what with Rudi Johnson ruled out and the Bengals’ defensive unit only showing up as a formality, if at all. That doesn’t mean we can’t comment on this special showdown of intransigent receivers. So, America, WHO YA GOT?


Chad Johnson__________________Randy Moss


442 yds., three TDs_______________403 yds., five TDs

Catch phrase

HUGH!________________Straight cash, homie

Alienates fans by:

Importing Spanish, however incorrect, in his nickname, Ocho AMERICA ZERO!____________Slacking off

Sympathetic to Kevin Curtis’ struggle?

No________________________Fuck nah

Inspires lyrics from:

Ryan Parker_______________________Outkast

Favorite hipster FroYo chain


Daring feat

Leapt into Dawg Pound_______________Played for Raiders

Can outrun:

A horse_________________His demons

Finishing Move

Whatever it is, it’ll be covered exhaustively by ESPN______Same amount of coverage, just with more scolding

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