Oh Boy, Bounty Semantics! – KSK Kontent Klearinghouse

04.09.12 5 years ago 20 Comments

– Rob Gronkowski has been putting out wacky YouTube high jinx all off-season to get people to vote for him for this year’s Madden cover contest. There are two schools of thought on this, the first being Y U TRYNA BE ON THE MADDEN COVER? THAT EQUALS CURSES THE FROGURT IS ALSO CURSED. The other is a polite chuckle and a “cool social media outreach, bro”. I suppose I lean more to the latter. But I do take enjoyment in Gronk beginning this clip doing pushups while listening to LMFAO with his own Fathead on the wall next to him. It ends with him spiking a Megatron action figure after scoring himself a TD against the Lions in Madden. If Gronk weren’t famous, this would be the saddest video ever. Instead, it’s only in the 30th percentile.


Busted Coverage gleaned that because Jeremy Shockey and his girl refer to each other as hubby and wifey on Twitter, that the two are engaged and will soon marry. Better make sure you got your facts straight before luring Shockey into his third Twitter fight of the off-season. Come @Me, bro.

– A Redskins writer noticed that on the TV Guide website, ESPN has “Sportscenter Special: NFL Schedule Release” listed for 7 p.m. April 17, leading many to conclude that is when the regular season schedule will be unveiled. That’s right; we bloggers may not be poring over sensitive official documents often but try some funny business on the television schedule, and we will be ALL OVER that sh*t.


– Hollis Thomas, former Saints defensive lineman and noted SpongeBob SquarePants fan, went on the radio to claim that the Saints didn’t have bounties, they had pools for kill shots. Why didn’t you just say so? The Rog might return $5-$10 of that fine money now.

– ESPN got Nas to provide music for the broadcast of the first round of the NFL Draft, which would be super awesome if Illmatic just came out. As expected, old white sportswriters are none too pleased about the inclusion of DAMN DIRTY JUNGLE MUSIC into the hallowed event. If you want a primer on how this awesome discourse will play out, consult reaction to the time that Obama invited Common to the White House.

– A troubled soul made a customized Baltimore Orioles jersey for Tebow and wore it to a game. I haven’t bothered to check whether anyone has credited this for the Orioles’ 3-0 start, but I’m just going to assume yes and continue drinking.

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