So, there is talk of “Dancing with the Stars” in the sports blogosphere, and it’s louder than usual since the coming installment will feature an NFL star from the present, rather than a creaky Hall of Famer. Not to mention Erin Andrews, ice skating gold medalist Evan Lysacek, subject of masturbation Nicole Scherzinger, and some guy who supposedly “walked on the moon.” Yeah, like that happened.
None of us here are particularly inspired by the list of participants, regardless of how the show’s title has become decreasing ironic. And so, instead, we turn to another media outlet’s coverage and lash out at its stupidity, because it is easy and because it should be punished. Take it away, Dash Bennett at Deadspin:
Due to her experience as a former Florida Gator Dazzler, Ms. Andrews will probably be the early favorite, despite the fact that her competition includes an actual “professional” dancer. If you consider what the Pussycat Dolls do to be “dancing.” It’s certainly quite professional! The show will also feature recent gold medal winner Evan Lysacek (who will only be allowed to use skates on his hands), [and] Chad Ochocinco (two left feet)… I like her chances.
I can’t help but feel that this is the kind of half-assed blogging you get when you prioritize reaction time over thought. I understand that Dash is trying to be light-hearted and funny, but it falls flat to me because the reasoning makes no sense. Do the Pussycat Dolls dance like strippers? I guess. But how does Erin Andrews’s college dance team experience from ten years ago make her a favorite over someone who dances on stage for a living? How does it make her a favorite over someone who’s so good at athletic choreography he just got a fucking OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL for it (from a sport that produced Kristi Yamaguchi, another “DWTS” winner)? Or better than an elite athlete from a footwork-intensive sport that has produced champions/finalists like Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, and Jason Taylor?
Anyway, I’m being petty and I don’t even give a shit about this TV show. But still: all of us at KSK came from Deadspin. Keep the ship afloat over there, please.