One fan filed a sexual assault report against Richard Sherman for his actions on Michael Crabtree

01.20.14 4 years ago 33 Comments

NFL: Preseason-Denver Broncos at Seattle Seahawks


And that fan is me folks.

No offense.

Everyones talking about Richard Shermans race-baiting postgame interview that sounded more like the intro to TICAL then a recap of the games events. Everyone keeps putting the blame on Sherman for being disrespectful to pretty innocent Erin Andrews. Everyone except for ME. Im here to put the blame on the REAL culprits: The Seattle Police Department.

Sherman had literaly just finished sexually assaulting Mike Crabtree in a a unusual twist for the SF receiver, and so any police officer in the stadium had reasonable cause to arrest him for committing a felony that they witnessed. I saw it, you saw it, the American people saw it. Shermans hand went farther up Michael Crabtrees butt then a condom full of GHB folks. Just because it happens on a football field doesnt mean its not illeagal despite the way some of these guys play the game nowdays. The fact that the Seattle PD let him get away with this put Erin Andrews in harms way and FOX would of had a slam dunk legal case if Sherman had groped or assaulted Andrews like he looked like he wanted to. So I logged onto the Seattle police department and filed a police report:

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Richard Sherman is lucky that the Fox producers were in Erin Andrewses ear yelling “cut away” instead of “stand your ground.” Sherman was being agressive and resisting arrest by not refusing to not be arrested after his sodomy and practicaly baiting Andrews to invoke “The Cassel Doctrine” which is the only recourse in America white people have anymore when a Cornerback is making it impossible to do your job by being much much better then you.

People are saying that Sherman is a Standford graduate but lets guess a couple things straight here, you know who else went to college? Hitler. Just because you managed to pose for pictures with the Standford tree for four years without trying to smoke it doesnt mean that your immune from criticism.

Today is a very important day in American history: It marks the first time two teams from states who legalised marijuana will play each other in the Superbowl Superbong. That said, Richard Sherman should of known how sensitive of a subject this was and tried to keep his Bob Marley haircut out of the national spotlight. Todays was Russell Wilsons show- a guy who would of wrestled with which Wordsworth poem to recite to Andrews instead of which wrestler to emulate. Its also Martin Luther King day, and as a white man I have very well rounded ideas of what this day should mean to Black athletes and how they should conduct themselfs during sports.

Im not a racist, I rooted for Russell Wilson yesterday. My fantasy team is nearly a quarter black. I just dont think its a stretch here to say that what happened to Riley Cooper is just as bad if not worse then whats happening to Richard Sherman now. Two guys who should of run windsprints instead’ve running their mouths, but one gets suspended from his Constitutionally protected job, and the other gets a invitation to the Superbong.

Sherman (or his publicist) wrote a column in The MMQB this morning that read more like a ransom note then a explanation if we’re being honest. He pretty much said that he went up to Crabtree to congratulate him for a good game which is pretty much like John Wilkes Booth congratulating Abraham Lincon after the play was over. You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little skeptical Mr. Sherman- I dont care what college you may or may not have attended- you still dont have any CLASS.

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