After getting married earlier this year in California, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen are planning another wedding to be held early next month in Costa Rica. According to A.C. Slater, it will be a small, private affair– much like their first wedding.
If you’re feeling slighted because you didn’t make the guest list for either wedding, KSK has a some good news. Tom and Gisele are planning a series of nuptials this year… one of them is sure to be somewhere near you.
I’m not sure where they are registered, but candlesticks always make a nice gift.
May 2 Onondaga County War Memorial Syracuse, New York
May 30 Six Flags Cedar Point Sandusky, Ohio (in front of log flume)
June 13 Zaxby’s (Grand Opening) Dothan, Alabama
(mention you’re there for the wedding and receive half off an order of boneless bbq wings with purchase of a 20oz soft drink)
June 30 Uproxx Media company picnic Leesburg, Virginia
(bring a dish, sign-up sheet on Brian’s desk; and don’t sign up for chips or soda—that’s a dick move)
July 11 Rodeo Nite Cody, Wyoming
(between barrel races and junior calf-roping– chronologically, not physically, but could you imagine if was? crazy, dude!!!)
July 24 Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire Kings Valley, Oregon
(can’t wait to peep the bodice on Gissy!!!)
August 7 Sh boom, Sh-Boom’s Shelby, North Carolina
(BEER BUST — 50 cent Bud Lights until some takes a leak– so for god’s sake, take a piss before you get there)