Pey-Pey-Palooza > Tebowmania

03.19.12 6 years ago 82 Comments

As much as it pains Peter King and myself that the latest Peyton Manning developments have diverted attention from the oh-so harrowing Jim McMahon “Outside the Lines” interview, it’s impossible to disregard a worldwide pant-sh*tting of the highest order. And such it has been with the Peyton news fallout.

Vegas has already installed the Broncos at 10:1 odds to win the Super Bowl, which is the fifth best in the NFL. The company formerly known as Bodog has Denver’s win total over/under at 10. Manning’s new teammates are thrilled; Ryan Clady told ESPN that Peyton is “just better than Tebow” which is true, but he is also NeckAIDs-ier than Tebow.

John Clayton is stoking rumors that the Broncos may trade Tebow to the Patriots, thus combining the greatest known trolling forces in the NFL today, Timmy Teebs and Tom Brady, to form the most unstoppable force in all of modern troll geniusdom. No one would be safe from their provocation prowess. We’d be forever engulfed in shock and outrage. It’d be like if Mark Wahlberg and Marilyn Hagerty made a run for the White House.

Since we’re on the subject of trolling, it is Simmons’ stock-in-trade and he is forever committed to it.

Now I want him to go to the Patriots just so idiots will call for Brady to be benched to make way for the Runslinger.

This raises the question of what will be best outcome for the purposes of KSK schadenfreude: is it Peyton easily surpassing Tebow, winning 10+ games and taking Denver deep into the playoffs? (That said, still hopefully not all the way to a title) Or would we be more satisfied with a total Pey-Pey flameout? The Tebowtards would be emboldened, to be sure, but it would hilariously set Denver back quite a ways and also make it possible for the city of Denver to turn on John Elway in wholly malicious ways. That alone is such a tantalizing possibility that I can barely consider any other option.

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