Peyton Manning Is A MacBook, According To Bernard Pollard

01.07.13 5 years ago 78 Comments

The Colts didn’t advance to play the Broncos in the divisional round of the playoffs, so writers are gonna have to try a little harder to come up with storylines for the Ravens-Broncos contest next week. If nothing surfaces, there’s always the old standby that is “BOY HOWDY, PEYTON MANNING SURE IS AMAZING, AIN’T HE?” That storyline has never done the media wrong.

To that end, writers should thank Ravens safety and crusher of bones, Bernard Pollard, for the following quote about the thought of facing Manning:

“We’ve got the MacBook that’s going to be under center. That dude’s a frigging computer, man. He’s one of the best.”

New Pey-Pey nickname time! That’s more fitting than “The Sheriff,” which is what Jon Gruden calls him. Peyton, after all, is more machine than man these days. I’m sure the mandroid himself will appreciate it, as it creates a prime endorsement opportunity with Apple. And Peter King loves it because he already beats off to pictures of Peyton on his MacBook Pro.

Everybody wins! Oh, except Joe Flacco, who has to listen to his teammates gush over how awesome the opposing quarterback is all week.

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