Ray Lewis Preaches To The Lax Bros

05.21.12 6 years ago 10 Comments

Previously this off-season, Ray Lewis randomly appeared before the Stanford men’s basketball team to give them a pep talk before an NIT semifinal, an occurrence that yielded the bizarre motivational phrase “be pissed off for greatness”. Because it’s Ray-Ray’s inevitable post-football fate to roam the Earth in search of competitors to abruptly fire up, only to return to the shadows once his subjects are screaming and baying for blood, Ray Lewis dropped in on the Loyola Greyhounds lacrosse team last week in advance of a NCAA quarterfinal match against Denver. Lacrosse, of course, wasn’t on Ray’s radar until the George Huguely murder trial. We hear Ray’s a big, big fan now.

God’s Linebacker implored the Loyola players to think of teamwork as tantamount to pedaling a bicycle. Unless that’s a tandem bike, I’m not sure exactly how that applies, but when Ray Lewis stage whispers it at you with that horrifying glint in his eye, it probably doesn’t much matter if the logic holds up, ’cause your fight or flight instinct has already been triggered.

It’s worth noting that Loyola did in fact go on to defeat Denver, meaning that Ray-Ray talked-up teams are 2-0 this off-season following his pregame intensity seminars. That can only mean that more teams are going to request his services. I’m afraid it’s just not that easy, though. It’s a mystifying process through which Ray Lewis chooses who is worthy of his pep talks. Some say the best way to court him is through a sky high motivational speaker fee. Others say it’s just a matter of turning off the lights in the bathroom and yelling “THE U” four times into mirror. There’s no way of knowing for sure until he springs a speech on you and your sporting compadres.

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