Football season is but five glorious months. The dirty business of endorsements is eternal. So even though he’ll be mostly rehabbing his knee for the next seven months, RGIII had a new Adidas ad hit the Internet on Tuesday. To be honest, I was starting to worry that he wasn’t going to try to sell me anything for a while. Blessed relief this is.
Not sure what’s more ill-advised: the ad’s implied promise that RGIII will return for Week 1 or the many images of blowing up football fields and schools. Though I’m sure RGIII wouldn’t be too broken up if the Fed-Ex Field sod were asploded into muddy bits.
Because RGIII’s PR staff is on it, the quarterback followed up the unveiling of the ad with a disclaimer that he’ll do everything possible to make it back for the start of the regular season, but nothing to endanger his long-term health. You’ll never get Mike Shanahan to buy your shoes that way.
— Manti Te’o would like to be judged on being embarrassed by Alabama, not being embarrassed by a Tuiasosopo.
— Occasional Sexy Friday model Jordan Carver posed for a shoot in a Philip Rivers half shirt. The half that allows for ample underboob exposure, to be clear. Rest assured, King Laserface disapproves of your fapping, even if the object of your lust glorifies his greatness.
— Jacoby Jones told David Letterman after the Super Bowl that he was going to add the Ravens logo and the Lombardi Trophy to his back tattoo of the city of New Orleans. Lo and behold, he’s done it. Would’ve made sense if he shaded in half of the Superdome, too.
— Darrelle Revis suspects the rumors of him being traded are originating from owner Woody Johnson, which is pretty much what everyone already thought, anyway.
— Mike Mayock ranks the top five prospects at each position. It’s text, so there’s not the fun of hearing him lisp through Ryan Nassib’s name.
— Video of Arian Foster’s appearance on Hawaii Five-O. Like me, you might have missed it if you’re not one of those 80-year-olds who watches CBS shows.