Rivers Leads the League in Grit, But Orton Leads the League in Jack

Credit to the Something Awful forums

For the second time in the first six weeks of the season, MNF announcers have pronounced a starting QB to be “leading the league in grit.” First, it was Jake Delhomme against Dallas. Tonight, it was Marmalard against Denver. Of course, both quarterbacks suffered gruesome defeat, so we can conclude grit not only amounts to unbearable whiteness, but suckitude as well.

Even resorting to two-handed granny floats wasn’t enough to ensure victory on this night for Marmalard. Not with Eddie Royal’s zero catches capturing everyone’s attention. Seriously, I look at the stat sheet and I can’t understand the hubbub.

“We lost? Man, the dudes at the skate park are gonna give me so much grief for leaving two-thirds of my hair its regular color. I gotta break my rape cherry and quick.”

Nice facepaint application, toothless bro. Be advised that fake dreads bro looks like he wants to drop epic slammage on your be-blued visage.

Jester caps were highly in evidence with fans of both teams in this game. Was it their prankster god that forced this errant referee toss off Merriman’s head?

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