Scene From The Jaguars’ War Room

04.23.13 5 years ago 29 Comments

Gus Bradley: Before we get started, let’s do a quick rundown of inventory.

David Caldwell: Sure.

Gus Bradley: All right. Two waters?

David Caldwell: Got ’em.

Gus Bradley: Four tables pushed together?

David Caldwell: Check.

Gus Bradley: Pad of paper?

David Caldwell: Right there.

Gus Bradley: Pens?

David Caldwell: Yep.

Gus Bradley: One iPad?

David Caldwell: Good on that one.

Gus Bradley: All right. All that’s left is fully staffed department of scouting and talent evaluation.

David Caldwell: Hmmm.

Gus Bradley: Something wrong?

David Caldwell: No, no, I know I brought it with me. [Scans room, looks under tables]

Gus Bradley: We do have a department of scouting and talent evaluation, don’t we?

David Caldwell: Heh. Of course we do. C’mon, man. What kind of question is that?

Gus Bradley: It’s just… there’s not one here.

David Caldwell: Sure there is. I remembered this morning I grabbed my cell phone, my keys, the Redbox movie I had to return and the scouting department. I totally remember grabbing the scouting department because I left it on the counter by back door. You know what? I think I left it out in my car.

Gus Bradley: I don’t think you left the scouting department in your car.

David Caldwell: You don’t know that. Sometimes stuff falls under the seats.

Gus Bradley: Just call it an educated guess.

David Caldwell: Fine. What does it say on that note pad? That could be a clue.

Gus Bradley: It just says “JAGWORS DRAFT 2 THOUSEND 2WELVE” at the top and it’s underlined. Really? I don’t even know where to begin with that.

David Caldwell: Okay, so rip out that sheet of paper and put the correct year at the top of the next sheet. Don’t forget to underline. See, you have something to do while I go track down what I did with the scouting department.

Gus Bradley: You can’t be serious.

David Caldwell: [Gets up and begins walking out] Oh, but I am.

[Door shuts, followed by a clicking sound]

Gus Bradley: Did you just lock me in here?!

David Caldwell: I DON’T HEAR WRITING!

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