“Seriously, last night was one of those soul searching times when I ask myself why I or any of us puts ourselves through this agony. Like is the reward worth all the suffering?”

01.17.11 7 years ago 133 Comments

Like I’m spending Pats Schaudenfreude Day without paying a visit to the Stool. Read this now and make fun of it. I present these snippets unadorned, so that the full impact of the whininess hits you.

Seriously, last night was one of those soul searching times when I ask myself why I or any of us puts ourselves through this agony. Like is the reward worth all the suffering? I mean, there were millions of people yesterday sitting at home, going about their lives, completely unaffected by what happened at Gillette. People who read novels or go see plays or are film buffs instead of football fans. They watch reality shows about real housewives with fake lips or douchebag bachelors who try to win a sham marriage and they go on with their lives. Hell, people who love awards shows don’t stay up all night staring at the ceiling if say, “Modern Family” loses the Golden Globe to “Glee.” They just go to bed and wake up in the morning talking about Natalie Portman’s dress. Meanwhile, My Irish Rose spent this morning fielding well-being calls from friends and relatives asking how I’m recovering. This is not normal, and maybe it’s time to make a major life change.

Indeed. Maybe you should consider not being a gash.

It’s one thing to lose, and God knows Boston teams have blown games a million times worse than this in all our lifetimes. But this was the one team you couldn’t lose in this manner to. For two years now the Jets have assembled a collection of arrogant, cocky, mouthy miscreants and handed them over to a buffoonish, perverted caricature of a head coach.

And this:

I’m all set with the NBAification that the NFL has been trending toward. No one could make a 5 yard tackle in that Baltimore-Pittsburgh game without putting on a Pop and Lock marathon. I’d prefer the league just go back to the old school, when Chuck Bednarik or Jack Lambert would just tell you to fuck yourself, then break your jaw.

Both those players were white.

I honestly haven’t second guessed Belichick since he wore the red sweatshirt at the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named. I’m going to be sore tomorrow.

And this:

I’ll know for sure next time someone cuts me off in traffic. If a scotch bottle should happen to fly through their window, I’m blaming the Patriots-Jets game of 1/16/11.

9/11 also had an 11 in it. NO COINCIDENCE.

And let’s get elpresidente’s reaction too!

We choked. The Jets were exactly who I thought they were. No better. No worse. I didn’t expect another 45-3 victory. I thought we’d grind out 7-10 point win. I feel like if we played them 100 times we’d win 90 of them. I still feel that way. And before people say I’m a sore loser go back and read what I said after the Giants beat us in the Superbowl. I said we got beat by the better team, but I didnt’ feel that way at all yesterday. The Patriots just made one uncharacteristic unforced mistake after another. It should have been 14-0 after the first quarter. The Brady INT on a screen pass was a joke. Crumpler dropping a TD was a joke. We moved the ball at will for the first 15 minutes and had nothing to show for it and it had nothing to do with the Jets. It was all our own mistakes. The fake punt was a layup if Chung doesn’t drop the ball. Again nothing to do with the Jets and it turned into 7 for them.

Again, NOTHING to do with the Jets. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

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