She’s no good at wrestling, but you should see her box…

12.26.06 11 years ago 11 Comments

We don’t celebrate (or for that matter understand) Boxing Day in the United States, which is a shame since anything that stretches a long weekend by another day is fine by me. So in the spirit of giving, this post goes out to all the poor bastards who are stuck at work today. Better you than me.

Packers at Bears has been picked up for this week’s Sunday night game. NBC can’t resist reminding us one more time that Brett Favre loves football with the such a child-like wonder that it makes me, you and all other fans and players look like cynical stacks of reindeer crap. I intend to commemorate the occasion by mixing up some Favre-inspired Mississippi Martinis (Old Milwaukee + Vicodin).

Good news for the Bengals: you won’t have January travel plans to clear with your probation officers.

Peyton Manning is continuing with his plans to get his annual January collapse in a month early. Ron Dayne ran for so many yards he was looking for Bucky Badger on the sideline to make sure he wasn’t back in Madison. At this point I wouldn’t bet on the Colts with Unsilent Majority’s money.

Rushing for 140 yards and two TDs long after it would do any good, Shaun Alexander delivered a special Christmas Eve “up yours” to all the fantasy owners who drafted him and then missed their leagues playoffs. This anecdote is a transparent excuse to post a picture showing the resemblance between Alexander and the anthropomorphic hamburger from “Better Off Dead,” as pointed out by KSK commenter (and revolutionary Christmas tree decorator) Michigan Becky a few months ago.

Everybody wants some. How ’bout you?

Prediction: after the Giants lose in DC Saturday night Tom Coughlin will go from no-nonsense disciplinarian to unemployed dickhead.

Remember this past summer when the Titans locked Steve McNair out of team practice facilities? James Brown’s widow can totally relate to that. She was barred from JB’s house on Christmas Day by his Jewish zealous lawyer and Jewish cautious accountant.

JB’s lawyer sez: “Now I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigger, but she ain’t messin’ with no dead singer’s estate until it has been probated under Georgia law.”

They brought the Cleveland Browns back from the dead; but they plan on burying James Brown. This world is FUBAR.

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