Sh*tcanned: Greg Schiano

12.30.13 4 years ago 119 Comments


The wheels came off when: Hmm. Tough to tell here. Maybe when he leaked petty stuff to the press like Josh Freeman missing picture day, or when he told Chris Mortensen that Josh Freeman was in the league’s drug program (but neglected to mention that it was a prescription), or maybe it might have been when he started the season 0-8, or maybe it was when Lawrence Tynes had to have antibiotics pumped directly into his heart to counteract the effects of MRSA, which Schiano would go on to deny was caused by the locker room, or maybe it was when his players likened playing for him to living in communist Cuba, or maybe it was…

His record: .344 (11-21)

Why you shouldn’t feel bad for him: He’s Greg Schiano and was a world class asshole for many, many reasons. He ran the Bucs like a cllege program where he was the unquestioned king-tits  poo-bah of West Florida. He would make his players dive at their opponents knees in the victory formation (which never worked) because a Schiano Man plays through the whistle.

What he had to do to save his job: The exact opposite of every thing he’s done over the past two seasons. That would have been a start.

Helpful Google search results:Screen shot 2013-12-30 at 10.53.03 AM

Who fired him? National heros, The Glazers. They also shitcanned their GM, Mark Dominik.

Great charity idea: Hold a raffle for fans to see who gets to fire your head coach. I’m certain that the Bucs could have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars from fans who wanted the opportunity to just fire the everloving shit out of Greg Schiano.



Where is he going? The only situation that needs Greg Schiano more than Tampa Bay- Penn State.

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