Because online petitions always get results, a Cowboys fan has started one on the official website of White House to ask President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as general manager and owner of the Dallas Cowboys. Totally the kind of thing the founders envisioned the executive branch doing.
It reads: “We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.”
When the Dallas Morning News first reported on the petition on Monday night, it had only 100 of the 25,000 signatures needed to be taken seriously, but as of Tuesday afternoon, there are more 2,000. Revolution is in the air, comrades.
And though the petition claims to represent the citizens of the great, seceding state of Texas, the petition was actually filed by a man in Georgia, because of course it was.