DON’T CROSS STREAMS!
As you probably know by now Javon Walker is currently laid up in a Vegas area hospital after being found beaten down shortly after sunrise yesterday. Reports claim that Javon had spent the previous few evenings/mornings spraying down various club-goers with tens of thousands of dollars worth (15 bottles) of horrifically overpriced bottles of Dom’s rosé. While the picture above appears to confirm those reports, one completely unsubstantiated rumor states that somebody in Floyd Mayweather Jr’s crew is responsible for crushing the receiver’s orbital bone.
You see, Vegas is Money May’s town, and when he’s giving his people a champagne shower you really shouldn’t try to upstage the recently retired pound-for-pound champion. According to message boards, the only source less reliable than those ne’erdowell bloggers, Walker thought he could outdo Mayweather, who reportedly went through 50 bottles of Cristal. As the story goes, somebody (or bodies) from Mayweather’s group of friends ran into Walker later that
evening morning and gave him the old “keep your ugly fuckin’ goldbrickin’ ass out our desert community” speech. I can safely say that Mayweather himself was not personally responsible for any assault seeing as how he’s yet to surface at any area hospitals with a broken hand.
In completely unrelated news, my boy Andre Berto is fighting for one of Mayweather’s vacated belts this weekend. And yes, you bet your ass I’ll be boring everyone with boxing talk at Deadspin.
Note: This is precisely why you should never buy Dom, Cristal, or any of that other mass produced crap that makes you look like a baller. Learn from a Jew and buy artisinal bubbly. Oh, and tell those bitchy waitresses that if they want a corking fee, they have to earn it.