There’s a heated turf war between ice cream trucks going down in a town in upstate New York. The fact that one of them is called Mr. Ding-a-Ling is enough to draw me in. That and the video has audio of a kid in a school bus saying, “Ding-a-Ling just gave us the middle finger.” Read more about the standoff over at the Uproxx flagship page.
— Warren Moon told the media that Tim Tebow sucks too much to play in the CFL. Obviously, Canada had to get someone else to say it on their behalf because they’re too polite.
— Cardinals linebacker Daryl Washington, already suspended for the first four games of next season for a substance-abuse policy violation, is reportedly being investigated for a domestic assault. Really sad this isn’t Honey Badger. Ah well. Give it time.
— Michael Vick beat LeSean McCoy in a footrace today. Color me convinced! Once Ookie’s turnover and durability issues magically fix themselves, he’s back, baby!
— Bjoern Werner learned about football as kid in Germany by playing the Madden games. Somewhere, a former exec from NFL Europe sheds a tear.
— Former Giants linebacker Michael Boley was arrested back in February on a child abuse charge. It was more the punchy kind than the molesty variety. He plead guilty and has been enroll in a pre-trial diversion program. This is just coming to light now, possibly because no one gives a shit about Michael Boley except that time he hit a guy standing behind the endzone with a football.
— 49ers fourth-round pick, wide receiver Quinton Patton, spent his own money to fly from Nashville to San Francisco to work out with the team early, only to be sent back home. Nonetheless, the gesture so impressed Jim Harbaugh that he promised to only bite Patton’s throat at 70 percent strength if he drops a third down pass this season.
— Nate Kaeding is retiring. We’ll always remember when he shanked those kicks in the playoff loss to the Jets. Oh, and the fact that he looked like Butters.