Texans Sell “Jerry Ricecake” Jerseys Because They Think You’ll Buy Anything


Hey, would you like to buy the jersey of an NFL player who doesn’t really exist, but was simply made up by a marketing department as the lame-ass sequel to a Super Bowl commercial that wasn’t all that funny in the first place? You would? Good, because the Houston Texans have a hell of a deal for you.

Yes, the Texans are selling “Jerry Ricecake” jerseys, a reference to the lazily named character that Jerry Rice played in a Super Bowl commercial this year. Much like the Leon Sandcastle ad from the previous Super Bowl, the ad involved an NFL Hall Of Famer disguising himself as a prospect in order to sneak back into the league. But whereas “Leon Sandcastle” was at least a mildly clever deviation from “Deion Sanders,” the name “Jerry Ricecake” sounds like it was thought of in about three seconds, and it probably was.

I have no idea who the potential audience for this is. Keep in mind, the price is $100, so it’s not like the Texans are intending this as a silly gag gift; they’re selling it the same way they would sell a jersey of Andre Johnson or J.J. Watt. This begs the question: who is going to drop a hundred bucks in order to publicly make reference to what essentially amounts to the Caddyshack II of Super Bowl commercials? You would need someone with a ton of disposable income, a complete lack of good taste, and connections to the Houston area. Hmm,…

I fully expect to see Johnny Manziel photographed in one of these jerseys by the time June rolls around.

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