The Bills were so close to pulling one of those trademark “have the lead all day, but fail to do well in the red zone and therefore let the other team hang around just long enough to beat you at the very end” games that would have been just such a Buffalo way to lose their first prime time game in four years. Sadly, Ryan Tannehill threw interceptions on both opportunities to drive for a winning score at the end of the game. While his blame is lessened by the lack of any semblance of a receiving corps, it’s good to know at least one rookie QB who isn’t Doopy Pantz is having a rough go of it in his first season.
Other than that, special teams return scores accounted for nearly half the points scored in the game, so if you didn’t watch (you probably didn’t watch) you missed quite a few stalled drives, punts and settling for field goals. Oh, and the amusing stuff that happened in the margins, which I have helpfully collected for you.
Cameron Wake gets a sack of Ryan Fitzpatrick and hulks out in celebration. Mike Mayock gives Brad Nessler a little good-natured ribbing about not looking quite as good flexing like that. Pretty standard playful announcer banter. But then Mayock goes on to let the world know that Nessler was rocking cutoffs at the gym the other day. Disturbing, certainly, but that’s a huge dick move by Mayock diming him out like that. Nessler is totally justified in mocking Mayock’s lisp now.
Jairus Byrd had quite the night. He forced a fumble and got the first and more difficult of the Ryan Tannehill interceptions at the end of the game. Tannehill tried to go deep on the penultimate drive one of the few times on the night. Byrd wasn’t the primary defender on the route, but he swooped in there to snatch that shit.
NFL Network experienced a bunch of technical issues last night. The audio went out during the pregame, producing a cacophony similar to an 8-bit era video game soundtrack. Being a dork, I kind of enjoyed it. Then the entire game feed went out at halftime, forcing the network to first cut to the studio where people said nothing before the feed was quickly cut to commercial. Obviously they didn’t want anything to do with this game either.
Dolphins special teams coach was irate that he didn’t get a roughing the kicker penalty on the punt that McKelvin returned for a touchdown. He didn’t get it, so he did this. Respect, sir. That is quality tantrum.
Per tradition, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s alma mater was namedropped a dozen times during the broadcast. Mayock even worked it in there while gushing over Fitzpatrick’s willingness to engage in minor contact with a defender. Nessler uttered something sounding vaguely concerned about concussions. Mustn’t mess up the valuable Harvard brain. All those other ruffians who have to block on every play, well, what of them?
The Bills are good at screens. This is necessary when your quarterback is a turnover machine and your best wide receiver is an idiot. Also when your two best players are both running backs. So it makes sense to be trying screens all the time. The announcers took notice, calling Chan Gailey the master of screens. 5Chan already has his haxor army putting together awesome Photoshops of him with that caption.
The alligatorist of arms.
When you let Ryan Fitzpatrick fake out half your defense and run for a first down, you don’t deserve to win. At that point, the game should have summarily ended, saving everyone their time.
Ryan Fitzpatrick is going to give you chances to get interceptions. All that’s required of you is to catch it. It’s not a lot to ask. Of course, that is still too much to expect of Miami. While hanging on to this pick would have on taken three points off the board for Buffalo, I’m sure that changes the playcalling strategy on those final two possessions when Miami needed a touchdown to win.
Leodis McKelvin did The Running Man to celebrate his punt return touchdown. Buffalo appreciates players doing dances that were not created after 1994, the cultural age Buffalo currently occupies.
The Flyin Hawaiian David Kaliiki Alii
Never have so many in Don Beebee jerseys been as loud
Tiki Barber will come over to your house and do a live postgame show for what’s left of that onion dip.
If the XFL was still around, i’d like to think they’d kick off each game with a mascot fight. Buffalo VS Dolphin – TO THE DEATH
Rizzi in quite the tizzy there.
How does Dave Wannstedt still get jobs in football? I don’t think Target would hire him for Black Friday he is so awful.
How do you spell ‘failure’? It’s spelled “Tashard Choice running the Wildcat”.
Mayock: “Two different looks show you two different things.”
REALLY? ARE YOU SURE?
Chan Gailey, master of the Crying Game.
Wow, one thing that really concerns me about these replay calls is how nit-picky it has made refs/commentators about catches.