The IceSkins Let Us Down Again, Cooch

04.29.10 7 years ago 103 Comments

Cooch, I’m tellin’ ya, I’m in agony this morning. This is what it means to be a D.C. sports fan, truly the undisputed most tortured cohort of fans ever suckered into paying attention to a sport they didn’t care about until when the home team was doing well. This was supposed to be the RETURN TO GLOREEEEE! Instead, we had a delayed Red Line train full of sad faces. I saw a man crying in the Harris Teeter last night!

I used ta think that Ovechkeen was a stand-up kinda guy. Enough so that I bought his jersey for me, the wifee and even a junior size one for each of the youngins. I think it’s the only one they let you get anyway. But it’s clear to me now, Cooch, that Ovechkeen just doesn’t have the mindset to get it done when it counts. Just this morning, I saw in the lady columnist thing in the Post that said he skips voluntary offseason workouts. That means we are right to retroactively begin questioning his greatness.

Now, let me tell you what I think is needed to remedy the situation. First, we need to fire that Island of Dr. Moreau cooch the IceSkins got and get Gibbs in there. He’d whip ’em into shape and get ’em GAMEDEE REEDY. Plus, he’d’ve traded for Haynesworth at goal and gotten Joe Jacoby to play whatever position protects the goalie. He would have FIVE WHOLE SECONDS to observe everee shot before it got to him. See, the problem with that team is they got no defense and no one between the pipes. We fans saw it all along, but only now that it proved to be their mortal weakness will we bitch endlessly about it.

Okay, enough with the choking IceSkins. It’s over and we have to move on. Next up is Super Sundee. Now, I like the moves to pick up Joey Gallowee and Bobbee Wade at receiver. He now have marquee players at even third and fourth receiver. How are teams going to possibly cover all those weapons? Give ’em 15 on the field and they still can’t do it. Add that with the new SILVERBACK HOG we got in the draft and now Donovan being under center and we’re readee for the Cowboys Week 1. Dallas Week starts now!

/ignores the Nats having a winning record

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