Hello, and welcome to the second edition of Kommentariat Komments of the Week.
Yet another week of everyone being funny, a small band of people still upset over the grammatical errors in PFT Commenter’s posts and the Live Blogs being more entertaining than Thursday Night Football, Monday Night Football and Tuesday morning operational management flow meetings or whatever it is everyone does during the day when they pretend to be working.
To the komments!
Make It Snow
It’s like if Tim Tebow were an entire division.
If Gruden was going to sing Mannfred Mann & The Earth Band, he should have sung “Blinded By The Light”. I would have loved to see him stumble through the part with “revved up like a deuce/another runner in the night”.
Wait, we aren’t gonna do the old “white dudes wagging their finger at the angry colored fella” on this one? Are players with tattoos getting a pass next? You know who has tattoos? AARON HERNANDEZ!
John from Jersey
Marty: Son, good work out there tonight. I taught you well.
Brian: Can’t believe we lost that. Regular season games are tough…
Marty: Wait a second, that wasn’t a playoff game?! You’re not invited home for Thanksgiving.
That binder is full of Bradford’s Garbage Pail Kids collection
Balls of Steel
I TELL YA, I CALL THIS RAMS RUNNING GAME THE NCAA BECAUSE PETE CARROLL HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM!!
Zac Stacy saw the first down line and stopped out of respect and fear
I don’t think Merriweather wants to pick this fight. After all, there are two Brandon Marshalls.
Finally, I can go to a Redskins game as Al Jolson without fear of reprisal.
I don’t know, man. Bill Barnwell definitely writes “game over” in a notebook and has someone locked in his basement who is required to put the lotion on its skin.
Slurs are only tolerated in team names, Dexter
Cute as hell. But just try to give that kid a timeout.
Cousins got so fucked you’d think this game was in Arkansas.
Romo got the ball with 3:33 left on the clock. He is 33 and his quarterback number is 9 which is 3X3 = 9. Romobylocalypse Imminent.
Henne Given Sunday
“Megatron is one of the great non-diva receivers in the league.”
If only he were white, they could call him gritty and reference his blue collar and lunchpail.
No Ducks for Chalky White
Queen:”My word those american footballers do wear some of the most adoreable little knickers”.
Jerry: “We prefer the term darkies, mam’”.
THIS QUEEN ELIZABETH, I CALL HER THE WATCH BATTERY BECAUSE SHE MAY NOT REALLY HAVE A LOT OF POWER BUT SHE TAKES FOREVER TO DIE.
Kam Fong as Chin Ho
The score might be 14-3, but you won’t see Glennon bury his head in the sand.
Bleeder in the Clubhouse
Lord, I was born a Schiano man
Tryin’ to alienate players and doin’ the best I can
And at the end of the season
I’m gonna get fucking canned
’cause I was born a Schiano man
Honorable mention in there, Nachosanchez wrote an entire TV spec around Schiano as military commander running a prison camp.
More people watched the Vikings shit their pants on the field than baseball? Fuuuuuuuuuck. I know baseball is terrible n’ all, but it saddens me that so many people witnessed that most embarrassing of games. I’d rather have watched baseball, to be honest. And this is coming from a person who is surprised baseball is still a thing that exists.
Am I the only one reminded of the Heaven’s Gate UFO cult suicides? With the track suits and the new sneakers? Perhaps Dan Snyder is planning to colonize a new planet full of assholes.
[Door flies open] LET’S GO GET A GODDAMN PLAQUE!
So now I gotta bring my A-Game and kill it all week in hopes of getting the tiniest bit of recognition from some woman I’ve not getting any from. Marriage has prepared me well.