Jabar Gaffney got the Serenity Prayer tattooed down the right side of his torso. Text ink of that size accomplishes little other than make me sad that the season of Archer is over.
– National Football Post is pushing the rumor that the Vikings are pushing hard for Bill Parcells to run their front office. La Canfora says it won’t happen, but the report was worth it just for Drew’s reaction.
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) April 4, 2012
– Rob Gronkowski attended a Playboy party sporting a vest and tie with no shirt. A high-class smut peddler like Jackie Treehorn wouldn’t stand for that sh*t.
– In further Gronkowski exploits, he has advanced to the final eight in the Madden cover tournament, along with Calvin Johnson, Ray Rice, Aaron Rodgers, Victor Cruz, Patrick Willis, Cam Newton and Larry Fitzgerald. Spiking a watermelon on video might have had something to do with Gronk beating Jared Allen in the last round, but that’s only because Jared didn’t bother to film himself taking homeless people out to woods to crossbow them from his deer stand.
– RGIII was not only in attendance to help Baylor’s women’s team cut down the nets after they won the national title last night, but he was showing off his dance moves during the game for some nearby white people. Jim Irsay knows that’s not how you break it down to ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down”. He’s seen enough; Luck it is.
– Preseason schedule is out. Woo boy. That Washington-Indy game in Week 3 might get a lil’ hype. Even though the NFL is apparently too stupid to schedule RGIII vs. Luck for national broadcast.
– The Louisiana State Senate to set to vote on a House-approved resolution asking the NFL to reconsider the bountygate punishment for the Saints. State senate? What, were the ward neighborhood advisory commissioners too busy? I’ll bet The Rog, son of a U.S. Senator, really gives two sh*ts what some podunk state senate demands in a non-binding resolution. Jeebus. I’ll bet by the start of summer that Louisiana mandates its citizens buy more Saints merch as a show of protest.