The San Diego Chargers Are Accepting Any And All Challenges

11.07.12 5 years ago 27 Comments

One of my biggest complaints about when I visit my family on the left coast during football season is having to be up at the ass-crack of my dawn to perform my normal Sunday morning routine of checking my fantasy football lineups, making a big breakfast, laying on the couch and scratching myself. However, never have I actually thought to myself, “What if I was an NFL player for a west coast team and had to play the 1 PM game against an east coast team?” Wow, man. That’s some deep existential sh*t right there, right Arsenio?

But mock it all you want, San Diego Chargers QB Philip Rivers is none too pleased with the idea of playing at 10 AM his time this Sunday in Tampa Bay, even though it will be 1 PM where he is, but it’s still… aw, screw you, Ben Franklin!

“I thought that they had kind of done away with that,” quarterback Philip Rivers said. “But they’re back this year.”

“We just have to get up and go,” Rivers said. “Obviously you’re not usually playing a game at 10 a.m. When the ball gets kicked off I don’t think that anyone cares about what time it is. I don’t think that any of the guys have a problem with it.” (Via the U-T San Diego)

As nonchalant as Rivers seems, and no matter how ready the Chargers players may be, they’re still 6-8 in early road games under Ol’ Jiggleneck Norv Turner. As the U-T points out, though, these are just the mere challenges that Rivers and Co. face. Challenges like playing against a pissed off Vincent Jackson, who probably wants to dance on AJ Smith’s grave one day, or slowing down Doug Martin, who just ran for 6 more TDs while you were reading this. Or maybe it’s the Tampa Bay Buccaneers fans… okay, it’s just Jackson and Martin.

If it is challenges San Diego wants, though, I have a few more they should try when they play the Bucs this week…

Norv Turner gets to coach drunk

Philip Rivers has to throw left-handed

Ryan Matthews will carry the ball with both hands tied behind his back

The Chargers have to re-sign Shawne Merriman

The Chargers towel boy gets to rub stick ‘em between Antonio Gates’ legs

Randomly placed landmines on the Chargers sidelines

LeGarrette Blount has to play for the Chargers

Vincent Jackson will have a third arm attached

Piranhas in the Chargers’ Gatorade

Footballs made of killer bees

Two words: lava field

Good luck, Chargers! Should be a great game.

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