It’s that time of year again. As I’ve said many times before, this site exists solely for evil purposes. No good can possibly come from what we’re doing here. Which is why I like donating a small, tax-deductible amount to charity on an annual basis, to absolve myself of all past sins. It’s just as soul-cleansing as giving yourself to Jesus, without having to give yourself to Jesus.
Yes, it’s the KSK Kares Kharity Drive, where we give to charity strictly for karmic and social gain. Last year, we raised $1,565 for Fisher House, a four-star rated charity which helps build temporary housing for injured military vets and their families. And if you think I don’t quote that figure to every asshole who questions the morality of this website, then you don’t know me very well. So what if I made Peter King cry himself to sleep the other night? I SUPPORTED OUR FUCKING TROOPS. I rule.
All week long, we’ll be placing the link to directly donate to Fisher House right at the end of every post. We ask that you give what you can. Not because it makes you a nice person, but specifically because it gives you an excuse to continue being a fucking horrible person. I suggest you bring up your donation any chance you get: on dates, in job interviews, everywhere.
Use it to illicit unjustified admiration and/or sexual favors. Be sure to mention your donation very casually, almost as if it means nothing to you. “Oh last week? Well, I went to the game. Then I had to fly to Sacramento for an offsite. Oh, and I HELPED TEND TO THE CARE OF WOUNDED VETERANS, WHICH MAKES ME A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU. AND I DID IT EVEN IN THE THROES OF A TERRIBLE RECESSION. SUCK IT.”
See how subtly I did that?
To repay your generosity, all week long we’ll also be posting pictures of chicks with guns. Because it really helps keep the important things in perspective. Goddamn. Look at that thing. It’s almost as big as Shiancoe’s cock.
The link to directly donate to Fisher House is right here. And you can read more about FH here. We’re gonna try and top last year’s total. Because we care just that much. It’s almost as if we’re TOO brave and noble for our own good.