It’s the last kommenter draft of the year! NOOOOOOOOO! But that means football is back next week! YESSSSSSSSSS! Anyway, coming to this timeslot next week will be Maj’s Friday gambling column, designed expressly for you to lose as much money as possible as quickly as possible. That makes this week’s mock draft our swan song until next offseason, when we’re stuck without football once more and craving a hot knife to jam into our eyes.
This week’s topic? Celebrity you wish would never grow old. Pick one famous person. That person’s age is frozen permanently in place from now through the end of time. They won’t die. They won’t get old and ugly. You must pick someone who is currently alive. And you are freezing them at their current age. So if you pick Jenna Jameson, you get 2011 Jenna, not 1997 Jenna. BIG DIFFERENCE. Also, freezing this person’s age doesn’t mean you get to sleep with them or anything like that. They’re still just as distant from you as ever. And if you think I’m doing this draft just for some desperate last-second book-whoring, you know me all too well.
Pick one person, then wait ten selections to pick again. I pick Purple Jesus because I lack a decent imagination. You’re on the clock.