Tiki Barber was once on top of the world. A running back who was admired by the media despite rampant fumbling and teammate back-biting. A lucrative post-football career in broadcasting. Sadly, even those things can be derailed by persistent shitty behavior as well as cheating on your wife with a 23-year-old intern who works at your company.
Nowadays, Tiki is broke and willing to do just about anything for money. You name it, no matter how degrading. Play in your flag football game for two grand? You got it. Just name the park.
You’re getting Tiki Barber—the NY Giants all-time leading rusher and owner of one of the greatest names in the history of names—for your next game of flag football. Or basketball. Or kickball. Or pretty much whatever sport/gentlemanly activity you can think of. Because having a three-time Pro Bowl-er on your team definitely qualifies as a Perk.
Ufford recently had Tiki on as his guest for the first edition of his NFL podcast, UFFSIDES. According to Ufford, the flag football offer is “only the tip of the iceberg — you can also go karaoke with him. His go-to: Maroon 5. That was when I told him, ‘You’re so white.’ Probably the highlight of the interview.”
Surely there are even more demeaning things that he can do. Just a few things Tiki could do for $100:
Attend your Christmas party (tend bar)
Join your foursome (as a caddy)
Fetch beer for Peter King (Allagash bottle or GTFO)
Pick up Eli Manning’s toys
Sleep with your company’s intern (that one’s on the house)