Busted Coverage has been all over the Gronk bro behavior beat this off-season. It’s the most choice bro beat there is, with the only remote competition being Bryce Harper. But Bryce hasn’t been posing with porn stars or recorded doing body shots off multiple girls in a bar, so he’s totally Bush League, Clownfraud Divison at this point, brah. This video of Gronk is supposedly footage from earlier in the spring while Gronk was YOLO-ing it up in Fort Myers. Busted Coverage paid for the footage. I can only hope it was paid to the guy wearing the “Florida Get Crunk University” shirt. He needs the money. Heard tuition there is rough.
Below, Jared Allen embarks on a round of golf. Being Jared Allen, he can’t settle for regular fancypants book-learnin’ Jim Nantz queefcore golf. It has to be XTREME Redneck Buck Hunter Bath Salts ALL-CAPS!!!!! Seal Team 6 HOLE BAWWLLLLLLL! There’s a 280-foot Slip ‘n Slide on the driving range, half the cast of Jackass, night vision technology and drill sergeants at every hole. That there isn’t a deer stand involved prevents it from being everything that I would expect, but the big buck tattoo Jared Allen has under his navel does enough to re-affirm everything we know about the guy.