What’s that? You had finally accepted Tom Brady’s long hair? You thought he sometimes kinda looked like Tim Riggins and/or you liked the way it bothered Boston fans?
Well, too bad! THE HAIR HAD TO GO. You messed up the minute you liked or disliked or expected something from Tom Brady: Troll Genius. Picked the Patriots in a suicide pool? FOUR INTERCEPTIONS. Tom Brady answers to no one! TOM BRADY AIN’T CARE.
Tom Brady’s gonna grow a mustache next! A big, thick cop mustache that would have looked good 30 years ago. He’s going to single-handedly usher in a new era where mustaches are sexy and masculine and not worn ironically. UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO.