Tom Brady Is Decadent And Depraved

05.03.14 4 years ago 53 Comments


Yesterday, a photo surfaced of Tom Brady wearing a rather noticeable hat and sunglasses to the Kentucky Oaks stakes at Churchill Downs. Now, this wasn’t really that much of a thing. This is Kentucky Derby weekend, a weekend dedicated to rich people acting as obnoxiously rich as possible, and Tom Brady was simply joining in on the fun, Honestly, compared to some of the other ridiculous hats you’ll see this weekend, Brady was being downright conservative. But thanks to those Ugg Boot campaigns/being married to Gisele, Tom Brady doing any sort of fashion thing winds up being news.

Then, this happened.

Yes, that’s right. Tom Brady came to the Kentucky Derby on a fucking Hot Air Balloon. In addition to being a clear indication that he hasn’t spoken to Donte Stallworth in a few years, this let’s us know that he’s in it to win it. At an event full of rich assholes much richer, and much more assholish than any athlete could ever hope to be, Brady is trying with all his might to being the most obnoxious one percenter of them all.

Really, Tom Brady has nothing to lose here. He’s already loathed by 31 NFL fan bases. Instead of trying to convince anyone he’s really a likable guy, why not just embrace his inner-douche? Go to the Kentucky Derby in a Hot Air Balloon because you’re a fucking millionaire and that’s something you can do. It’s not like anyone is going to hate you more. Brady is simply embracing his inner rich dick at a weekend dedicated to that very activity. And frankly, he’s doing it better than anyone else.

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