Typically the morning after a primetime game, I make a slideshow recap full of GIFs, video and whatnot from the night before, but I feel confident that no one who watched Jets-Patriots wants to relive that horrorshow. And anyone would did miss the original broadcast is better off being spared that experience.
If I wanted to make a true representation of what last night was like, I’d have to either make a supercut of all the drops both teams made or an extended single shot of a child succumbing to starvation in a gutter. Either would accurately capture the tone. But I have neither the desire nor the time, so instead let’s laugh at all the times Tom Brady showed his bitchface to the camera when he was mad about his receivers dropping passes.
Awwww, you guys. Poor Dreamboat! Luckily, he had Mike Mayock and Brad Nessler around to pity him the whole night because Brady had to work with such inferior, undeserving talent. No elite quarterback should be forced to stand for such ineptitude.
Look, Aaron Dobson and Kenbrell Thompkins sucked ass last night (NO ONE DENIES THIS!), as did several Jets receivers. But Mayock especially was going out of his way to apologize for every Brady miscue while berating his receivers when THEY messed up. Here’s one incompletion where Mayock straight-up argues that Brady messed up ON PURPOSE.
Get the f*ck out of here. Only Deion Sanders was willing to acknowledge that Tom Brady might have erred at some point in the evening.
The problem is, Mayock (lisp notwithstanding) is a pretty good announcer. He might be the most knowledgeable of any guy working an NFL booth right now. It’s just sad to see him susceptible to the same starf*cking tendencies as the bad ones.