This is the worst week of the year. More than one week after the Super Bowl. The head rush from the Saints win is slowly dissipating. We are now firmly stuck in the middle of yet another deadly offseason, AND THERE ARE STILL MONTHS TO GO. Just brutal. I can’t stand the thought of it.
So let’s try and put off our misery by arguing about who should be Meast of the Year. Plenty of deserving candidates out there, and we’re gonna let you vote. But you can only select from our pool of nominees! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Candidates after the jump:
PROS: Was the real defensive Player Of The Year. Sticks to you like herpes. Made a point of shutting down the league’s most irritating wideouts. PUSSYTUBER.
CONS: First name sounds like the name of a ladies’ shampoo. PETER KING DEEMS IT TOO PERFUMEY.
PROS: Zulu Chutlusudufudufgubudsusu set the regular season combined yardage mark. Offensive player of the year. Three runs of 85 yards or more. Great hair. Criminally ignored in the MVP race.
CONS: Fucked your ass in fantasy if you did not own him. Fucking consistently productive asshole.
PROS: Super Bowl MVP. Saved New Orleans. OR DID NEW ORLEANS SAVE HIM?!!! As of right now, best quarterback in football.
CONS: The Affliction t-shirts
PROS: Fucking brilliant interior lineman who helped turn Dallas’ unit into one of the best in football by the end of the year.
CONS: That roid rage thing he does after any sack. Fucking weak sauce.
PROS: Only good player on decidedly horrendous team until Jerome Harrison somehow appeared. Never have so many people lobbied for one man to become a multimillionaire many times over. Wildcat QB better than all of Browns actual QBs
CONS: Stands out largely because the rest of his team is so glaringly bad
PROS: YA BETTAAAAA VOTE FOR SOMEBODAYYYYYYYYYY! Led Chargers to 11 straight wins. Did so with midget and Whitney Houston as his backfield.
CONS: Choker. Dipshit.
PROS: Very good, and since Ape isn’t writing this post, there will be no overtaunting of the Ravens here.
CONS: Just kidding. The Ravens can eat hog. And if you’ve never stabbed anyone or run them over with your Bentley, are you REALLY a Raven? I say no.
PROS: “My God, have you SEEN The Blind Side? It’s FANTASTIC! Sandra Bullock is incredible! I took the kids and we all had a great time!” –Fat lady at your office
CONS: Won’t actually win this
PROS: “THIS GUY… Patrick Willis… YOU TALK ABOUT A HITTER!”
CONS: 49ER. Gay.
PROS: Spurred defensive revival of Saints. Ball hawk. Uncommonly handsome.
CONS: Not Drew Brees
Vote below. Polls close sometime tomorrow. Least of the Year nominations next week.